Message to guys under 18 and over 49 and to women of all ages: KIRO-FM ("The Buzz") doesn't want you. Not much. Last Friday, the station fired Pat Cashman, host of the morning show and - by Seattle standards - a very funny man.
His bosses told Cashman the problem was demographics. His show appeals to "women and families" and doesn't attract guys from 18 to 49. That contrasts with syndicated hosts like Tom Leykis, a toilet-talker heard on KIRO-FM (100.7) during the evening drive time.
Program director Kris Olinger said, "The problem, basically, was the radio station had two different audiences. It's better if a station has one target."
The station has substituted it with "The Mark & Brian Radio Program," a syndicated Los-Angeles show featuring Mark Thompson and Brian Phelps. The duo are billed as "cool," so cool the show's press kit was delivered in a plastic foam cooler. Doodads inside included a cassette, CD and condoms disguised as match books. (I am not making this up.)
Meantime, Cashman fans have besieged the station with protests. Olinger reports around 1,000 protest calls. Some fans, unable to reach the station, have called and e-mailed me.
One 36-year-old Seattle guy who evidently doesn't understand what bean counters say he's supposed to like said, "Cashman fans are a cult. Trouble is we don't have a leader."
Cashman, a regular on KING-TV's "Almost Live," is treating the firing with wistful humor. He talks about ways to revive the show, complete with sidekicks Lisa Foster and Dustin Hornby. But he doesn't have immediate prospects.
Olinger said, "We plan to talk to Pat this week to discuss some other possibilities for him."
Meanwhile a word of warning: Look out for Cashman fans. They'll cry on your shoulder. One woman said, "I tuned in Monday and thought it was an April Fools' joke. I still can't believe it."
Changing guard: Cassis, a popular Capitol Hill bistro, opened last year with four owners. Now there are two: Jef Fike and David Oliphant. Partners Leif Holland and Tom Uberuaga, who helped put the place on the map, are leaving, amicably, for new adventures.
Replacing Holland in the kitchen is Andrew (Andy) Branstetter, who has been working with Holland since the eatery opened.
Diaperless in Seattle: Family Services, a nonprofit agency that provides clothing for homeless families, is scraping the bottom (pun intended) of its diaper supply.
The need for medium- and large-size disposables is desperate, according to Karen Bandvich-Baker, director of communications. She says, "We hope people will donate a box or two." (Contact 206-461-3883 to arrange for pickup.)
Close encounters: KOMO-AM "News Talk" 1000 is sponsoring a contest: "Win traffic-free vacations to Hawaii! Mornings at 7:20."
Examination of the contest flier's inside pages shows a stock photo of freeway traffic with three lanes, seemingly poised for a head-on collision. For some reason, the KOMO plane is flying away from imminent disaster.
And you wondered why we have such bad traffic.
Jean Godden's column appears Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Her phone message number is 206-464-8300. Her e-mail address is: firstname.lastname@example.org