Local Group Mounts New `Hunchback' Musical

------------------------------- Theater review

"Hunchback," written and directed by C. Rainey Lewis. Produced by Seattle First Artists at King Cat Theatre, Sixth & Blanchard, Seattle. Tuesday-Sunday through Nov. 22. $18.50-$42.50. 206-269-7444. -------------------------------

Of all the indignities Quasimodo has suffered since he limped forth in Victor Hugo's 1831 novel, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," the rock musical "Hunchback" at the King Cat Theatre may be the cruelest yet.

And it isn't too easy on the audience either.

For some unfathomable reason, a good singer named C. Rainey Lewis decided to compose, write and direct this stage version of Hugo's potboiler. While she was at it, Lewis also cast herself as Quasimodo, a stunted outcast and Notre Dame bell-ringer who is the unlikely hero of this saga set in medieval Paris.

Earth to Lewis: Learn to delegate.

Because sad to say, except for crafting some catchy melodies and singing a few sound-alike, oh-poor-me tunes in her interesting Rod Stewart-ish howl, Lewis is not up to all these jobs. Bloated and expensively produced, but tacky and mind-numbing anyway, "Hunchback" runs nearly three hours. And throughout, it's hard to figure what this show means to convey, and why.

When, early on, a pack of writhing nuns suddenly hurled off their habits to reveal filmy gowns over black bikini underwear, and a regiment of male palace guards marched around in lacy body suits

with peek-a-boo midriffs, I had my hopes up that even if the show was ostentatiously bad, it still might be funny.

But the laughs dwindled as cast members and the decent (if too-loud) house band (led by Tom Kellock) spewed out sappy ballad after crunching rock anthem - most with lyrics on the level of: "Feel the bliss/Like a kiss" and "All through the night/ All through the day/ You've got my love in a special way."

The bonehead dialogue ("If I'm not mistaken, you are a gypsy?") is mercifully scarce. Instead, "Hunchback" telegraphs Hugo's romantic and murderous plot in a series of strenuous yet insipid production numbers, veering from the deadly earnest to the ludicrously campy.

Few attempts at acting are made. the good-hearted gypsy Esmeralda, Nadia Deleye flounces around with a tambourine, blandly warbling "Paradise" to indicate her free and easy ways, and straining through "I Could Be True to You" to hint she's fallen for a guard captain, Phoebus (sturdy-voiced Guy Bogar, who deserves better than this).

To express his meanness, Frank Cruz's deadpan evil archbishop Frollo glowers through "Shame," a song whose message is all but drowned out by high-decibel back-up. And in Quasimodo's reveries, Lewis (in convincingly grotesque make-up) reminds us hunchbacks get lonely and life ain't fair.

Meanwhile, a squad of dancers busily executes Mark J. Kane's kitchen-sink choreography, an incongruous spree of acrobatics, martial arts, ballet, belly dance and Vegas-showroom moves.

The show's hodgepodge look scrambles William Forester's imposing cathedral backdrop with corny/trippy video imagery by Frank Video and features grab-bag costuming by the usually reliable Rose Pederson.

One could go on and on, about the technical glitches (squeaky metal stairs, spotty miking), etc. But why belabor the obvious? Trust me: As rock musicals based on old horror classics go, "Hunchback" makes "Jekyll & Hyde" look like "Tristan und Isolde."