`South Park' Co-Creators Starring In `Baseketball'

Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Martin and Lewis and, now, Parker and Stone?

Lock up your daughters, even though it's your sons who are most likely to buy tickets. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the co-creators of television's infamous "South Park," are ready for their movie debut. They opened Friday in "BASEketball," a flick about a new sport that is especially for guys who drink lots of beer and can't run.

It's coming to a theater near you. No need to try to stop it.

Stone, the one with the mass of curly black hair, was explaining that he shouldn't really be doing the interview. "We should be writing for `South Park.' We're way behind, but this movie is coming out. As soon as it comes out, we're both going to shave our heads so people won't recognize us."

In addition to sipping liposuctioned fat from Marlon Brando, they kiss each other in the movie. Parker, the one with the bleached-blond hair, said: "I tongued him. It wasn't in the script. We just added it. Lots of people think we're gay anyway."

Stone added: "When I kissed him, I blanked out my mind. I thought of nothing. Actually, both of us have a girl. I mean, not just a girl for both. We each have a girlfriend, dude."

Parker observed: "I went into show business to attract chicks. Now, the only fans who recognize us are pimple-faced boys. It's a bummer, dude, but the pay is good."

In "BASEketball," they play Coop and Remer, who with their ultra-shortie friend Dian Bachar as a character named Squeak, form the entire team. The sport, which is a mixture of basketball and baseball, requires much shooting and no running.

The studio agreed to bankroll the project after Parker and Stone earned a cult following for "South Park," the Comedy Central show that airs at 10 p.m. Wednesdays. The show may be more tasteless than "Beavis and Butt-head," but attracts the same audience. It's four main characters - Stan, Kyle, Kenny and the chubby Cartman - are hard-cussing 8-year-olds from a small mountain town in Colorado. Kenny dies at the end of each episode. In one episode, he was killed by a pack of rabid mutant turkeys.

The kids' only ally is Chef, a cafeteria worker who believes in aliens and has the voice of Isaac Hayes (Oscar winner for the "Theme from Shaft"). With crude animation that looks like a group of cardboard cutouts moved about, the show is already set for a movie version.

The guys aren't worried about all the protests. "Hey, dude, the show is on at 10 o'clock at night, and it's not a children's show," Parker said. "All our T-shirts are in adult sizes. We have refused all offers for merchandising aimed at kids. We've gone to extreme lengths to keep it from children. Beyond that, it's not our problem. It's not our responsibility."

Critics say that the writers and voices for "South Park" hate the world in general. Parker countered: "We don't think mankind sucks. We just see humor in everything. And we're from good families, had good upbringing. Both sets of our parents live in Colorado and are still together."

Parker, who was majoring in piano and wanted to be another Elton John, was kicked out of the University of Colorado. The reason, according to him, was "I was skipping classes because I was making this independent movie called `Cannibal, the Musical.' The movie was more important." Described as "a mixture of `Friday the 13th' and `Oklahoma,' " it is now surfacing as a midnight, "Rocky Horror" kind of experience.

Of their many targets on "South Park," Stone says that only Barbra Streisand is "someone we truly hate. She is evil in many ways. Now, we just make fun of Sally Struthers. She's not really evil. She just tries to raise money for all these starving kids, while she's standing there all bloated up. I feel like saying, `Hey, dude. Give them some of YOUR pie.' "

Their film "Orgasmo" will be released in September with an NC-17 rating. "It has no nudity," Parker said. "It's given that rating just because of the subject - pornography. Boys are going to see its rating and go to see it expecting to see naked women. Boys that age can get very mad when they don't see what they expect. I fear for our lives."