And You Thought Sand Traps Were Bad

Golfers know strange things can happen during any 18-hole round, but killing a cow?

In its April issue, Men's Health magazine chronicles five of the strangest moments in golf:

-- On the first hole of his qualifying round for the 1935 Society of One Armed Golfers' championship, J.W. Perret killed a seagull with his first approach shot. He also killed a seagull with his second approach shot.

-- During an Amateur Stroke Play event in 1974, Nigel Denham hit his second shot into the clubhouse, where it bounced its way to the men's bar. Denham opened a window and pitched the ball from the bar onto the green, 12 feet from the hole.

-- In 1912, Harry Dearth played a match at Bushey Hall in England while wearing a complete suit of heavy armor. He lost the match.

-- In 1951, Edward Harrison was playing at Inglewood in Kenmore when the shaft of his driver broke and pierced his groin. He staggered 100 yards before he collapsed and bled to death.

-- In 1934, the pro at England's St. Margaret's-at-Cliffe Golf Club struck a cow on the back of the head with his tee shot on the 18th hole. The cow died instantly.

Baseball job next?

Bob Verdi in the Chicago Tribune, writing on John Feerick, the arbitrator who reduced the punishment in the Latrell Sprewell case:

"Mind you, Feerick is a highly decorated scholar who serves as dean of the Fordham University Law School. But he might as well be professor for Anarchy 101, the sports course of the '90s.

"Either that or this egghead is auditioning for the still-vacant post as commissioner of baseball.

" . . . Feerick no doubt would have judged (umpire) John Hirschbeck at fault for allowing his face to interfere with the natural flow of Roberto Alomar's saliva."

He wrote it

Steve Bisheff, Orange County (Calif.) Register, on the Princeton Tigers, college basketball's anti-ego team: "Every slam-jam-minded kid in America should be forced to watch Bill Carmody's smart, disciplined guys demonstrate the way the game is meant to be played."

-- Bisheff, again: "Let me get this straight: The San Diego Chargers ship out Natrone Means three years ago because they don't like his attitude and his bad influence in the locker room. And then they pay him $19 million to come back?

-- Bisheff, one more time: "The new perfect day in sports, circa 1998: You miss a practice with Dennis Rodman, let Latrell Sprewell intercede on your behalf with the coach, and then have Mo Vaughn drive you home."

He said it

Comedian Dennis Miller, on how to enliven Olympic bobsled racing: "One word: intersections."

Compiled by Chuck Ashmun, The Seattle Times