The New $100 Bill Is Only The Start Of Funny Money

WHEN I see a new $100 bill, I want to play Monopoly. It doesn't look like real money.

Ben Franklin's face is so ballooned, it looks like he should have spent more time at Weight Watchers than on Poor Richard's Almanack.

The redesigned C-note that began appearing the first of the year is just the beginning. All our paper money will look funny - at least to me - by or before 2002.

Officials of the Treasury Department and Federal Reserve Board say new redesigned currency will be issued at the rate of one denomination each 6 to 12 months. Next comes the $50 bill, with new currency eventually working down to the $1 bill.

That's a maximum of five or six years away, depending on whether they put out redesigned $2 bills. No new deuces are made now. They are circulated out of storage.

Don't panic. The old bills still will be good. They'll be phased out as they wear out. Dollar bills wear out, on the average, in about 18 months. They get passed around the most. The shelf life of a C-note is about nine years.

Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan has proclaimed: "Old notes will not be recalled or devalued. The United States always honors it currency at its full face value, no matter how old."

As older notes reach the Federal Reserve from depository institutions, they will be replaced by the new ones.

What makes the new $100 bill so jarring to the eye is that we've been accustomed to the old one a very long time. This is the first major redesign of our currency since 1928.

It is not being done frivolously by a design committee trying to win an award for aesthetic innovation.

The new look is to make our money more secure - less susceptible to counterfeiting.

That's why Ben Franklin's portrait is much bigger and off-center on the new C-note. When the new $1 bill comes out, George Washington's face will look more like the state of Washington.

The new $100 bill appears slightly lopsided. The off-center positioning is done to provide room for a watermark and security thread.

It also reduces wear and tear on Ben's face caused by folding the money in half. How thoughtful.

There are tons of little details on the new bills to make them tougher to counterfeit. Old bills had serial numbers with one letter in front of eight numbers with another letter at the end. There are two letters in front now.

This could be handy for people who play liar's dollars. They use the front letter to see who makes the first call. Two letters will cut down on ties.

See, already there is much good in the redesign.

At year's end, there was more than $380 billion in United States currency in circulation.

It seems strange, but American money is more popular outside of America. Two-thirds of our currency is in circulation overseas.

That's because of the faith in our money and the fact that foreign countries are more cash dependent, while the U.S. is heavier into credit cards and checks.

Counterfeiting is not a huge problem now. In the past fiscal year, there was only $32 million of counterfeit money passed. That's not chump change, but it's a small fraction of the amount in circulation.

With advanced technology making duplication easier, the redesigned currency is an attempt to stay ahead of the curve.

Total cost of the new design was approximately $765,000.

It costs money to make money - about 3.7 cents for each bill.

The new security enhancements will increase the cost by three-tenths of a cent. Funding comes from Federal Reserve earnings and fees.

Look at it this way. If you think you're new $100 bill is ugly, it's worth three-tenths of a cent more. But not to you.

Don't try to get that three-tenths of a cent when you break it.

Darcy Bradbury, assistant secretary of the Treasury for financial marketing, told me by phone from Washington, D.C., that introduction of the new $100 bill is going smoothly.

She was clear to point out the redesign is not a beauty contest.

"No one would have accepted the redesign for aesthetic reasons. It had to have a real reason (improved security). But it's obvious, they did their best to make it look attractive . . . and to look American."

That's good. I want my American money to look American.

I'll learn to live with the funny look of the new $100 bill. Mostly because I see so few of them.

Don Hannula's column appears Thursday on editorial pages of The Times.