Deaf And Proud -- Don't Waste Your Sympathy, Insist The Nonhearing Members Of Our Society. The Deaf Have Their Own Close-Knit Culture And Their Own Language And Many Wouldn't Trade It For The Hearing World.

Five-month-old Trevor Dockter literally lights up the house.

As he squirms and gurgles on the living-room ottoman, an antique lamp flashes on and off. So does the lamp next to his playpen, where mom and dad, Lory and Terry Dockter, have also perched a miniature video camera.

When Trevor cries out, the two family dogs bark and run around in circles.

The Dockters aren't overprotective. Rather, they are deaf, and they have developed a system of visual cues in caring for Trevor.

Like many of the deaf, they don't consider deafness a personal or professional handicap, or a hindrance in raising Trevor. It makes for challenges at times in a world organized for people who hear. But their deafness and language also connect them with a distinctive culture.

When they found out Trevor was deaf, they were delighted.

"I was so happy," said Terry Dockter, 45.

Among them now, deafness will be a family bond - a bond that the deaf share, nurture and, more and more, insist that the hearing world recognize to be a distinctive, separate culture.

As the license-plate cover on one of Terry Dockter's cars expresses: "I'm not hard of hearing. I'm grateful Deaf."