Glenn Nelson's New Year's Irresolutions

Ten ways you don't want to start 1996

1. LOSE TO AN EXPANSION TEAM

The Buzz: The Boston Celtics did, 103-95, at Vancouver on Dec. 30. It was the first time since Nov. 30, 1949, that the formerly venerable Celtics dropped their first-ever meeting with a new NBA club. Twenty such encounters passed since Boston dropped an 87-71 decision to the Syracuse Nationals.

2. WORSHIP DENNIS RODMAN

The Buzz: Adam Kopulsky, a 15-year-old sophomore reserve on Los Angeles' Birmingham High School junior varsity team, was benched for two games by his coach, Al Bennett, because Kopulsky dyed his hair pink in tribute to Rodman, his idol. "Dennis Rodman is a distraction to his teammates," Bennett said. "(Rodman) is an anti-hero and to copy him is foolish."

3. GET BENCHED BY THE HAWKS

The Buzz: Ken Norman did. In an effort to shake his club out of its doldrums, Atlanta Coach Lenny Wilkens replaced Norman with Stacey Augmon in Tuesday's game against the Sonics. Not only did Norman get benched; he pulled a DNP in the Sonics' rout. The 11 other Hawks all played, including a big stiff named Todd Mundt. In his usual blunt way, Wilkens said he made the change, "Because I want to win games." Youch.

4. IGNORE YOUR OWN BACKYARD

The Buzz: Desperate for perimeter shooting, the Sonics didn't even make a pitch for Eldridge Recasner, a University of Washington product and last year's MVP in the CBA who spent the whole summer working out at a Bellevue gym. With Clyde Drexler injured and Kenny Smith struggling, the rookie point guard recently got a chance to shine. He was a combined 7 of 11 from 3-point range in late December wins over Vancouver and New Jersey.

5. GET NAMED PLAYER OF THE MONTH

The Buzz: After Chicago's Scottie Pippen was so honored by the NBA, he missed his first six shots, hit six of 22 from the field and one of seven from three-point range to finish with 16 points while committing a game-high eight turnovers against the Rockets on Wednesday.

6. PUT THE NETS AND BUCKS TOGETHER

The Buzz: The final score: New Jersey 81, Milwaukee 72. Nets shoot 33.7 percent; Bucks shoot 34.6. Milwaukee misses 12 straight shots before Vin Baker's slam just beats the final buzzer.

7. FOLLOW THE CLEVELAND CAVS

The Buzz: Move them to Zanzibar and call them the Zombies. Mike Fratello gets named the NBA's Coach of the Month because the Cavaliers led the NBA in fewest points allowed and fewest turnovers. How about fewest fans? Sure, Cleveland has the third-best record in the league since Nov. 17, but Fratello's crew has bored the known world to attain it.

8. WAIT FOR YINKA DARE TO DISH

The Buzz: Yinka plays defense, but that's all he does. For sure, he doesn't pass. Last we looked, he's played 385 NBA minutes with nary an assist.

9. GIVE UP ON THE LAKERS

The Buzz: Yeah, they ain't what we thought they'd be. So far. But consider - in December, the Lakes had one stretch of 13 games in 10 cities over 21 days, which included five sets of back-to-backs. Starting Tuesday against the 76ers, the Lakers play 14 of their next 20 at the Forum, and two of the "road games" are crosstown at the Sports Arena. Coach Del Harris is challenging his team to use the stretch to climb from third to first in the Pacific Division.

10. BE TOO GOOD FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

The Buzz: "We have too much talent." Sound familiar, Sonic fans? Actually, that's the fashionable explanation for Denver's recent struggles. "It's definitely possible to have too much talent," Tom Hammonds says. "There are a lot of teams in the NBA that have too much talent and haven't won a thing. Look at Phoenix. They're loaded. They haven't done anything."