It's Been A Slow Race To The Altar, By Land Or Sea

THE CLAPP-FORDS: Long-time sweethearts Pam Clapp and Chuck Lyford are planning an unconventional birthday party, barn-dance and wedding on the private Henry Island in the San Juans Aug. 17.

Often referred to by friends as the "Clapp-fords," the couple resides at the Eastside waterfront home with the castle-like turrets

Now for the pedigree: Pam Clapp was married to the late Jim Clapp, son of Norton Clapp.

Friends say Pam Clapp is the adventurous sort who took over the U-95 hydroplane project after her husband's death in 1974 and since then has learned how to drive antique race cars, partially under the instruction of Bruce McCaw.

Lyford was a race-boat driver who with Jim Clapp was the first to introduce hydroturbines to hydroplane racing in the 1970s.

Lyford, a long time ago, was married to champion horsewoman Mary Simpson Reed, who went on to marry someone else.

Lyford is celebrating his 50th birthday the same day as the wedding. A fishing derby, softball game, dinner and barn dance are all in the plans.

Lots of the same affluent types are on the wedding invitation list - some of the same crowd that attended McCaw's 45th birthday surprise party June 26 at Stresa in Kirkland.

No this is not Twin Peaks.

SPIED: Jack Croco, the co-founder and co-chairman of Quality Food Centers, posthumously made the pages of Spy magazine's August edition. It seems Vashon Island reader Richard Bard for no evident reason sent a clipping of Croco's obituary to the magazine, which published this part:

"Croco was known as a character who never lost the spirit of a small businessman. When a woman suddenly died of a heart attack in one of his stores and paramedics didn't arrive right away, Croco built a potato-chip display around the woman to keep gawkers away."

Spy's reply: "Had he lived in New York - Croco could have applied for a grant and appeared periodically at a performance space."

TONS OF TOFU: OK, so it sounds like a Weight Watchers joke but thanks to Larry Parker, president of the Enumclaw firm Marie's Dressing, local food banks literally have tons of tofu.

Parker responded to one of Ackerley Communications Northwest-donated billboards, urging, "Help Stop Hunger in Washington. 545-FOOD" and decided to call.

SLICE OF YUPPIEDOM: The tiny community of Seabeck, near Silverdale, has a general store, a boat marina and a pizza take-out stand. What else could a self-respecting burg want? An espresso stand, currently under construction, with a planned (sound the trumpets, please) "grand opening."

CLIMBING FOR CHARITY: Legendary climber Lou Whittaker is leading a team of six business types on a Mount Rainier climb this weekend. Climbing are: Joe Brotherton of the Brotherton Law and Accounting; Jim Cullen, Security Pacific; Jon Hemingway, Stevedoring Services of America; Mike Mitchell, Jr. of PEMCO Insurance Co.; Hal Smith, Ernst Home and Nursery; George Selvy of American Express.

Each of the climbers raised $5,000 in sponsorship fees which goes to the American Lung Association of Washington.

DISASTER RELIEF: Philippean Consul General Hermenegildo and Nina Garcia and members of the local Filipino-American community are in the process of planning a fund-raiser, featuring music and dance from the Philippines, to benefit victims of the Mount Pinatubo disaster.

Garcia was in his native Pampanga June 12 when the volcano erupted. The event will be sometime in September. The Garcias moved here from New York last fall.

FINALIST: Cheryl Harris, 24, a Seattle-based Alaska Airlines flight attendant, has been selected among 18 finalists in the 1991 Black Velvet National Model Search.

Harris attended the preliminaries with a friend and was coaxed into competing at the last minute.

She and the other finalists will be flown to New York City in November for a hair, make-up and photo session with Ford Models Inc.

The winner of the title will get a Ford Modeling contract.

APPLAUSE: Sam Grossman, 93, leads an exercise group. His wife, Helene, 90, visits one-on-one with residents. Both are familiar faces at the Caroline Kline Galland Home, the Jewish home for the elderly, where they have been volunteering for about 20 years.

A few days ago they were honored at a Galland-sponsored picnic.

"They're just an inspiration," said Carolyn Danz, a home board member and herself a volunteer. The Grossmans have been married 65 years.

MASS OF BRASS: Seafair is looking for a few good tuba players - make that about 200 of them. It's the latest in parade promotion wackiness leading up to the Aug. 2 Torchlight event.

"Mr. Tuba" himself, Harvey Phillips, from the University of Indiana (where else?) will lead a tuba workshop Aug. 3. And if that's not enough to make you leave town, give the local Mr. Tuba, Al McVay of Federal Way (838-5591) a call for more information.

About Town by Nancy Bartley appears Sunday and Monday in the Scene section of The Times.