Books: From lesbian moms to nine women who changed America (really)

I am woman, hear me:

(a) Roar;

(b) Face down racism and poverty;

(c) Define for myself what it means to be "mother" or "wife";

(d) Sound alarmingly like my own mother when I yell at the kids; or

(e) all of the above

The correct choice is, of course, "e." Books aimed at a Gender: F readership are wide-ranging by definition. They flow out of publishing houses in enormous numbers, and the past few months' bounty is no exception. Among the not-to-be-missed offerings:

"Lighting the Way: Nine Women Who Changed Modern America"

by Karenna Gore Schiff

528 pp., Miramax, $25.95

If you only read one work of nonfiction this year, make it this one. Karenna Gore Schiff chose fascinating women for these nine excellent profiles, and for once, a hyped-up subtitle is accurate. These women did change modern America.

Most are not household names but should be. Among them: Ida Wells-Barnett all but eliminated the epidemic of lynching of African Americans. Septima Poinsette-Clark and Virginia Durr faced down racism in the most dangerous days of the civil-rights movement. Delores Fernandez fought for immigrants.

Two are better known: Labor-movement matriarch Mother Jones; FDR's Labor Secretary Frances Perkins.

Profiles of heroes often fall short when authors canonize their subjects. Karenna Gore Schiff (yes, the former vice president's daughter) doesn't fall into that trap. Her writing is brisk, her heroes flesh-and-blood women whose courageous activism made streets, workplaces, schools and homes safer for Americans.

"Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All!"

edited by Harlyn Aizley

208 pp., Beacon Press, paper, $16

It's probably mathematically impossible to pack this much hilarity, heart-squeezing moments and life-with-baby reality into a couple hundred pages, but editor Harlyn Aizley manages.

Some things are universal: Whether we're talking two mommies or one, nothing rocks a couple's world like a new baby. Almost every one of these 19 short essays winningly explores common joys and terrors, and provides excellent entertainment holding forth on unique challenges facing the "other mother."

The book isn't a political rant; far from it. Nonetheless, it is tempting to buy a pile of 'em to airdrop on areas where voters or judges try to keep same-sex couples from marrying, adopting or being foster parents.

"To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife"

by Caitlin Flanagan

272 pp., Little, Brown and Co., $22.95

Caitlin Flanagan wildly amuses or infuriates by throwing out statements such as: "You have to give those old libbers their due: They spent a lot of time thinking about the unpleasantness of housework and the unfairness of its age-old tendency to fall upon women." That noise you hear is Betty Friedan (or maybe it's Elizabeth Cady Stanton) rolling over in her grave.

Flanagan's notion of contemporary womanly concerns is deliberately provocative: She ponders the current mania for all-white mega weddings, sexless marriage, and the challenges of coping in a socially responsible way with hiring an illegal worker as a nanny. She makes all of these things well worth the reader's time, far-fetched as that may seem.

A contributor to Atlantic Monthly and The New Yorker, Flanagan's an able writer who relishes her role as contrarian. One even suspects she knows exactly who paved the way for her success — those "old libbers."

"Every Mother Is a Daughter: The Neverending Quest for Success, Inner Peace, and a Really Clean Kitchen (Recipes and Knitting Patterns Included)"

by Perri Klass and Sheila Solomon Klass

320 pp., Ballantine Books, $23.95

The truism that one can predict how a woman will age by seeing her mother is happily proven true by the Klass women:

Middle-aged Perri Klass is a welcome take on the über-woman: wife, mother, pediatrician, activist and knitting addict who admits her house is an unholy mess and doesn't worry overmuch about being fat.

Her headstrong, penny-pinching, subway-riding, college professor of an elderly mother, Sheila Solomon Klass, is proof that one can survive the stifling suburbs and escape to a rich urban life that does not depend on youth or good eyesight.

Despite its silly subtitle, this is a wonderful book by two fine writers even more skillful as a duo; the temptation is to read slowly to make it last.

"I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace with Mom — Before It's Too Late."

By Iris Krasnow

223 pp., Basic Books, $25

Iris Krasnow's sensitive yet baldly honest prose is thought-provoking for any offspring, regardless of her track record of peace with mom. A veteran journalist with a gift for highly evocative profiles, Krasnow moves easily between first-person recollections and anecdotes from dozens of other daughters.

She acknowledges the tough realities of some childhoods — abuse, neglect and other sad treatment at the hands of a parent — but this is more love letter than self-help book. With four sons of her own, and her octogenarian mother close to death, Krasnow finds, at last, that when she looks at her parent, "I am more grateful about who she is than incensed by who she is not."

"Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World"

by Linda R. Hirshman

(Viking; $19.95)

Whether you love or hate "Get to Work" by Linda R. Hirshman — and, yes, you will experience at least one and perhaps both of those emotions — reading her small book will provoke invigorating introspection for sure.

That is just what Hirshman intended. The retired Brandeis University professor of Philosophy and Women's Studies is blunt, occasionally sarcastic and more often right than wrong. She's determined to make women, especially younger ones, think hard about the price they pay when they opt to stay at home to raise children, or fail to fully engage in the outside workplace.

Her already controversial guidelines grew from a study of career paths taken (or abandoned) by women first profiled a decade earlier in their wedding notices in The New York Times. Hirshman warns: Don't have more than one kid; forget that fine-arts degree and major in something that leads to a reliable paycheck; quit being the designated grocery-shopper and dishwasher in your household.

Above all, refuse to support a government that penalizes women (and families) in myriad ways, including the so-called "marriage tax" that increases tax burdens when one marries.

Hirshman fancies herself picking up where the late feminist icon Betty Friedan left off, but she is much tougher in her indictment of today's women for embracing a system that marginalizes them. That toughness will distract many readers from the valuable economic truths she delivers.

This is a women's book-club offering if there ever was one: Read her, get mad, be thoughtful.

— Kimberly Marlowe Hartnett