Hey, Freddie (and Brian), you're so fine ...

It's a good day when a girl finds herself in the company of Freddie Prinze Jr. and Brian Austin Green, especially when Brian graciously lets me call him David (as in Silver, from "90210"). He would not, however, sing a few lines of "Precious," even though I asked nicely.

But never mind that, because the boys were in town to promote their ABC show "Freddie" (8:30 p.m. Wednesdays, KOMO), which concludes its first season April 12 with a guest appearance by Burt Reynolds. I admit I haven't seen "Freddie" so many times, but I imagine sitting in a room with Freddie Prinze Jr. and Brian Austin Green for half an hour is not unlike watching an episode of the show. They're friends. They're funny. They act like boys. (Sample dialogue: Freddie: "You can't hang with Hasselhoff." Brian: "You can't hang with Hasselhoff because he's a rock star in Germany.") I'd like to put this in context for you, but to be honest I was having trouble following this part of the conversation. When did we start talking about David Hasselhoff?

"Freddie" is loosely based on the life of its star, specifically the time period in which Freddie's mom, grandmother and two god-sisters moved into his bachelor pad after he starred in the movie "She's All That."

"I slept on the couch in my own house," Freddie recalled. "Eight months later, they moved out and took all my furniture. Hilarious. Ha ha. Let's make a sitcom about that."

On said sitcom, Freddie plays a successful chef who takes in his sister-in-law, sister, niece and grandma, who only speaks Spanish with English subtitles. It's funny because it's true, right? Freddie even cooks in real life — he's a cooking-school dropout — while his wife, Buffy, is out slaying vampires, I guess.

"I do all the cooking at home," he said. "That's why she married me."

Meantime, Brian Austin Green (wisely) claims to have nothing in common with his character, Chris, who is Freddie's best friend and an independently wealthy playboy.

"I bought suits of armor in one episode, just so we could hit each other with swords," he said. The weird thing is, I think I saw that episode, only it was on "How I Met Your Mother." Suit up!

Speaking of 90210 alums:

"So noTORIous"

Tori Spelling mocks herself in a fictionalized version of her life in this new "Fat Actress"-style send-up. Funny, I thought that's what all those Lifetime movies were about. (10 p.m. Sundays, VH1)

"Survivor"

The tribes merge and rename themselves Gitanos. I have this vague recollection of wearing Gitano jeans in the '80s. The fraternity formerly known as La Mina immediately rushes Bruce, then accidentally hits him in the face with a machete. Um, the hazing comes after he's a pledge, boys. (8 p.m. Thursdays, KIRO)

"The Real Housewives

of Orange County"

Jo's introduction to life in her new gated community continues with a tennis lesson with Queen Bee Kimberly. Kimberly (demonstrating): "It's almost like you're swinging a baseball bat." Jo (staring): "Your boobs look huge." No, Jo — you're supposed to keep your eye on the other spherical objects. (10 p.m. Tuesdays, Bravo)

"America's Next Top Model"

Tyra asks the girls what they want to be when they grow up (besides models). Jade: "I love children and I want to be a kindergarten teacher." OK, now that makes even less sense to me than "You're a cutie and I'm a gorgeousie," which I swear is a direct quote from the last episode of "8th & Ocean." Models! (8 p.m. Wednesdays, KSTW)

"The Amazing Race"

Eric and Jeremy make small talk with uniformed female attendants at the airport counter. "Do you girls have hickeys? Is that what the scarves are for?" Now that "AR9" is moving to the more family-friendly 8 p.m. hour, CBS might want to consider eliminating the self-professed "idiots," just to be safe. I honestly don't think anyone would mind. (8 p.m. Wednesdays, KIRO)

"Blow Out"

New dad Jonathan tears up (again) while reading the nursery rhyme "Hickory Dickory Dock." "Wow, man. That's heavy." That kind of makes me want to cry, too, but for an entirely different reason. (9 p.m. Tuesdays, Bravo)

"The Real World"

Svetlana pouts when the roommates choose Zach over her as manager of the tanning salon. "They put me in charge of finance. Are you kidding me? I can't even add." Crying 'cause you can't do math — now that's something I can get behind. (10 p.m. Tuesdays, MTV)

"The Apprentice"

For being a member of Mensa, Tarek isn't impressing me so much with his smarts. Everyone knows people don't watch TV because they want to read things on the screen. (9 p.m. Mondays, KING)

Pamela Sitt: 206-464-2376 or psitt@seattletimes.com