A sleepy kid is a cranky kid

"Sleepless in America"
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
HarperCollins, $24.95

It might seem like a leap to go from spirited to sleepy.

But in her new "Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep?," Mary Sheedy Kurcinka highlights the oft-overlooked link between acting up and snoozing.

Instead of acting drowsy, most sleep-deprived kids get hyper. "Their behavior appears wild rather than tired as long as stimulation levels are high enough to keep them awake," she writes. "But at home, when stimulation levels drop, they torment siblings, argue with you and chase pets, all in a mad drive to create enough commotion to stay awake."

Kurcinka, a parent educator who wrote the popular "Raising Your Spirited Child," says the first question she now asks parents is "How much sleep is your family getting?"

Many parents think sleep issues affect just infants. But if a child is lacking sleep — preschoolers need 12 hours a night and school-age children at least 10 — "no punishment, no discipline strategy will stop the challenging behaviors."

Parents often don't connect a few hours of missed sleep — "the culprit lurking in the background" — with whining, tantrums or the inability to focus a couple of days later. Sleepy kids also are more accident-prone.

"When a child is fatigued, her most challenging behaviors are more rampant," she writes. "You will see more difficulty managing her emotions, her body, her focus and interaction with others."

Societal changes mean more kids are getting less sleep: Working parents keep kids up later to spend time together in the evenings, children stay up watching TV or playing video games, kids are less active and schedules are hectic.

The solution of getting more sleep sounds easy, but kids and life can make it challenging. Kurcinka addresses topics such as morning and bedtime routines, naps, holidays and nightmares with practical, easy-to-read advice. Her real-life examples come from thousands of parents in the classes and workshops she leads around the country.

As readers familiar with "Spirited Child" would expect, Kurcinka doesn't offer a one-sleep-fits-all solution. Instead, she highlights different strategies — especially where they differ from standard advice — for temperamental kids.

Here are some of her tips:

Daytime actions affect sleep later. Skipping a nap, sleeping in late or drinking a soft drink with caffeine can make bedtime harder.

Don't make staying up late a treat. "There is a window for sleep, when the body clock tells the brain to switch from alert to sleep. When you move your child's bedtime from even fifteen to sixty minutes, you may discover that instead of sleeping better because he's really tired, he can't fall asleep and wakes more frequently."

Make sure kids get physical. You may be out and about, but is your child strapped into a car seat, stroller or shopping cart most of that time?

Keep meals regular. Breakfast helps tell the brain it's time to start the day, Kurcinka notes. Dinner is often served too late for young children; it may be better to feed them early (4:30-5:30 p.m.), then give them a snack later.

Create a "cue" for sleep. This is the last thing you always do with a child before bed, such as singing the same lullaby or saying a prayer.

Make a picture chart of the bedtime routine. "When your child begs to diverge from the plan, you can simply ask, What does the picture planner tell us? Young children really do believe what they see, and it's also impossible to argue with a chart."

Plan calming activities , even far in advance of bed. If children are often tense after school or at dinnertime, try drawing, reading or exercising so the stage isn't set for a night of fighting. Taking a few minutes to connect with a child may stave off an evening of power struggles later.

Consolidate transitions. Some kids struggle with moving from one activity to the next, so minimize those shifts in your routine. For example, don't get pajamas on, brush teeth, then read in bed. Do all bathroom necessities, then all bedroom tasks.

Stephanie Dunnewind: sdunnewind@seattletimes.com.