Shooting the snark with the king of Dlisted

Michael K., the snarkmaster of Dlisted.com, is the kind of guy you wish you'd known in high school. The guy who'd sit at the back of the bus and cut those do-gooders on the student council down to size. The one who always knew who was seeing whom and who got kicked to the curb.

He's grown up now and so have we, but who can resist sneaking a peek at what's got to be the most addicting celeb-obsessed blogspot on the Web? With updates of sometimes 20 a day — a day — Michael (who doesn't use his last name because he has a full-time job — during which he does a lot of his Dlisted work) has his mouse on the pulse of pop culture as he drags "Parasite" Hilton, "Fishsticks" Paltrow, "Chestica" Simpson and others through the mud by their extensions.

Michael posts a pic, writes his scathing commentary, then lets his readers take their turn at the ol' scratching post.

The 26-year-old Manhattanite (by way of L.A.) kicked up the kitty litter with us recently about Dlisted's popularity in its first year, schadenfreude chic and bloggers-who-wannabe-stars (Perez, who?).

Q: Why do people like reading about and making fun of celebrities?

A: They feed off the celebrity thing, knowing everything, seeing pictures, where they eat, what kind of car they drive. Every little thing.

Q: Dlisted is so no-prisoners. Do you like anyone?

A: When I first started there were people that I didn't talk bad about, like Victoria Beckham — I loved her. But then I was like, this is stupid and she is stupid, too! Most celebrities to me are ridiculous!

Q: When you were in high school did you make fun of the popular people and call them names behind their back?

A: Everybody. I was made fun of! And when you're made fun of you either a) become a shrinking violet or b) become a total bitch, and that was me. I fought fire with fire. But Dlisted is a persona: It is ME — but I'm not like that.

Q: You're also not pictured all over your own blog as is Perez Hilton (shameless self-promoting blogger who now appears to be BFFs with the real Paris).

A: My goal is not to be famous. And that's his goal.

Q: He gets a lot of negative comments on his blog about his palling around with celebs at Sundance.

A: From other bloggers! He's not very well respected with us. And not only that — I don't want to put my picture on there (Dlisted) all the time because my readers are brutal!

Q: Have you ever been sued or threatened?

A: There's a line I draw but I tend to go beyond most people's lines. ... These celebrities will never read this. The smart ones don't! But I'm sure Paris Hilton does because she loves to read anything about herself. I'm sure she Googles herself.

Q: What's with the fascination with Jordan (breastically enhanced U.K. Page 3 Girl of dubious talent) ?

A: She's always in The Sun! I have a fascination with British culture because for them, anybody can be famous. You can have a face like a foot and be famous in the U.K.

Q: What size do you think Mariah really is?

A: I have a friend who worked for a magazine and he said that her publicist said she wears a size 4. When she got there she couldn't fit into any of the clothes, so they had to cut them up the back.

Q: What about Jake Gyllenhaal?

A: The thing about Jake is that it's hard to write about him — people love him so much. I don't know why people think he's so amazing.

Q: Tom Cruise?

A: That's too easy.

Q: You update your blog more than any of the others I've read.

A: Right before I go to bed, I log on to make sure that nothing else has happened. You want to be the first to talk about it. I try to chill out from the celebrity thing, but it becomes a part of you. And it seems like more people are obsessed with it — I don't know if that's good or bad. Bloggers have a gotten lot of attention and I get called for shows now and then.

Q: Would you do TV?

A: If I could say whatever I wanted within the rules, yes, but I have a duty to my readers to not be a sell-out. I can't rip on Paris Hilton and then next minute try to be her friend: Paris Hilton is the enemy! She's like the girl that would make fun of me in school!

Q: What's your day job?

A: I copy-edit for a dot-com. I don't do anything there. That's why it's so easy for me. I just blog all day. Nobody at work knows.

Q: Are you making any money off this?

A: A few hundred dollars a month.

Q: Jack or Ennis?

A: (long pause) Oh, Ennis. No! Wait. Yeah.

Francine Ruley: fruley@seattletimes.com.