No lollipop for "Kojak"; morbid "Anatomy"

Maybe there's a new series for Robert Blake after all — and I don't mean on Court TV.

With ABC's "Blind Justice" and the return of "Kojak" this weekend, television appears to be rediscovering the offbeat crime-solver.

It's probably a reaction to our reaction to all those cookie-cutter procedurals — enough with the laboratories and legalese. To paraphrase Blake's "Baretta," don't do the crime if you can't give us the time to devise some interesting characters.

I don't expect TV to drop cops altogether. That would be like asking for the elimination of medical dramas, to which ABC adds "Grey's Anatomy" on Sunday.

But given the popularity of "Monk," consistently one of cable's top-rated shows, it's no surprise networks and cable channels are seeking other police series led by personality.

"Kojak" debuts as a two-hour movie at 9 p.m. tonight before moving to a regular one-hour berth at 10 p.m. Sundays. It stars Ving Rhames and, like "Monk," is on USA Network.

This is the third incarnation of "Kojak." The CBS original with Telly Savalas aired from 1973 to 1978. In 1989, ABC brought back "Kojak" and Savalas as part of the "ABC Mystery Movie" wheel.

Rhames, most familiar as drug king Marsellus Wallace in "Pulp Fiction" and for his Golden Globe-winning turn as Don King in HBO's biopic, has a lot supporting his claim to the lollipop crown.

He moves with a big man's careful, imposing grace and possesses a what-it-is kisser that puts him right up there with Michael Chiklis of "The Shield" in the department of bald menace. You also believe he'd melt into compassion under the right circumstances.

Yet the opening scenes of "Kojak" display no confidence in Rhames' assets. The filmmakers work furiously to ensure we get them, turning what should be a slow reveal into a rapid-fire strip.

After a few camera cuts dwelling on Kojak's two-tones, his chalk-striped suit and his fedora, he stands silhouetted against a blaze of light like the gunslingers of yore and proceeds to conduct a formulaic head-slamming interrogation.

It feels wrong. The spirit of Kojak is his laid-back cool and the surprise is the fire within. Barely two minutes into two hours, the establishment of character is already backward.

The same clumsy haste is evident when cracking Kojak's hard shell to expose his famously soft heart. (The Tootsie Roll Pop people missed a great product-placement opportunity.)

Investigating the gruesome murder of a prostitute, he interviews the woman's young son. Their bond seems too stagy and forced, as does Kojak's outrage.

By the way: What so fascinates TV writers about the bondage-and-torture-death of women? "Kojak" is the third new show this season to begin with that scenario, not to mention the many times it's used in already-established series.

Regardless of cause, the effect in "Kojak" is exploitative. For all the prattling about how hookers are people, too, you sense it's just a device to flaunt the hero's heart.

Other cast members largely are wasted amid the single-minded and overlong pursuit to build the main character. Little life is breathed into Chazz Palminteri as Capt. Frank McNeil or Roselyn Sanchez as a combative (what else?) assistant district attorney.

Unfortunately for Rhames and company, this star vehicle carries neither the imagination nor the craftsmanship to put it on a par with "Monk" and "The Shield."

From the predictable psycho killer to the saxophone-driven score — a wailing compendium of urban clichés — "Kojak" simply doesn't stand out among the dozen other police dramas on TV every week. Tough luck, baby.

It's, like, so medical

ABC's "Grey's Anatomy" slips into the vacationing "Boston Legal" slot at 10 p.m. Sunday and the difference isn't as great as you might think.

The former stars a pair of paunchy, pasty lawyers. The latter stars a pair of pouty, pasty surgeons. Both shows operate at the level of competitive, sex-obsessed 12-year-olds.

But if you want a medical drama about brilliant, emotionally challenged doctors, tune to "House" or reruns of "Doogie Howser, M.D." At least they say something interesting.

That's not true of Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo), the beautiful and vapidly conceived heroine of "Grey's Anatomy."

If we only had to gaze at Pompeo's big eyes and stunning cheekbones, the hour might fly. Instead, she's been furnished with a soap-opera back story about a doctor mom lost to Alzheimer's and we perforce must hear her groping reflections on life.

The Seattle-based show otherwise contains various medical cases and stereotypes introduced an era ago on "ER," this time with more people of color in supporting roles.

There's the hard-ass chief of surgery; the bossy female resident; and a crew of interns that include the insecure schmo, the arrogant jerk and, of course, the Asian go-getter. The George Clooney resident is Patrick Dempsey.

However, it's the Asian go-getter who deserves mention. She's played by Sandra Oh ("Sideways"), whose talent furnishes the only reason to watch and who should have been the show's star.

Yes, it's a vast strain on the imagination: An Asian-American medical intern burdened by enormous family and professional expectations. But as long as ABC is trying to be innovative, why not go for broke?

Kay McFadden: kmcfaddent@seattletimes.com