Diverse views on gay-marriage ban in Puget Sound
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Single people and married couples debated lifetime commitments between same-sex partners as well as the role of government in defining what is or what is not sacred.
Some folks shrugged off the uproar over the proposed Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, saying the issue really didn't affect them one way or another.
Others condemned homosexuality and applauded President Bush. And others chastised the proposed amendment, arguing a tenet upon which this country rests is individual freedom, including the freedom to love someone of the same gender.
Here is what they had to say:
Robin Garrison, 30, owner of the wedding boutique I Do Bridal in Wallingford, said she supports gay marriage.
"I liked Dolly Parton's quote, 'I'm all for gay marriage, why shouldn't they suffer like the rest of us?'
"But on the serious side, I believe everyone should have the ability to have a life partner. But from a political standpoint, it's difficult because it opens a whole new can of worms for people who aren't married because people could abuse the purpose."
Garrison said her business usually outfits as many as 50 brides for commitment ceremonies a year.
"But not all brides tell us. We don't always know, but sometimes the partner will come in. I mean it's not uncommon for us. It's their personal preference to tell us. But if gay marriage were legalized it would create more business for the industry."
Vannessa Kwon, 29, a social-sciences senior at the University of Washington, describes herself as a strong Christian and points out that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong. Yet Kwon said she does not support Bush's constitutional amendment, saying individual rights could be taken away if the amendment passed.
"A lot of people say that marriage is sacred. But I think if there is love involved, it could be there for same-sex couples. I don't see what's threatening about it. I don't think it will hurt the general public.
"They say it's wrong in the Bible. However, I'm not really for Bush condemning them because they have rights as individuals. If they're going to start discriminating against them, they might start discriminating against minorities."
"I don't think anyone should say they shouldn't marry of the same sex. At the same time I think Bush is using this as an election tactic."
Danielle Morrow, a 37-year-old mother to be in Madison Valley, said she does not see anything wrong with gay marriage. Morrow is due in July with twins, a boy and a girl, and said she does not have a problem raising her children with her gay and lesbian neighbors.
"They're great. I think if people took the opportunity to get to know more gays and lesbians, they wouldn't be so opposed to it. I can't imagine them not being allowed to be together, and when you think about it there are some straight people out there who should reconsider getting married.
"I can't see why this is a big issue, but at the same time it's a huge issue for so many people because of religious reasons. It doesn't seem like you're going to sway people who have these strongly held religious beliefs. It's a shame that it has to be that way."
Jelina Howard, 24 and single, at Chai House in Ballard. She said she was wary about marriage, perhaps because her own parents are divorced.
"But if you want to represent your union in front of people you love and love you, that's a sign of commitment."
Same-sex couples should be allowed to enter into that union, she said.
"Love can't be defined by genitals."
Recognizing same-sex marriages would not be a sign of decadence as critics have contended, she said, but rather, "it's showing a more tolerant, more enlightened society when you transcend gender."
Richard McMillan, manager for decades at The Tux Shop in Ballard, said he's been happily married 35 years, following his parents marriage of nearly 50 years. He said he believes the traditional family unit — man and women, with child — is the foundation of society and must continue to be so.
McMillan also said he's fine with gay people.
"What you do in your own home — I don't care what you do."
He said he's fine with civil unions and that he's rented plenty of tuxes to two men or two women he assumed were having a ceremony. "I don't care what you do with your tuxedo."
And, he said he's fine with gay couples having children.
He just can't abide gay marriage. He mentioned the importance of propagating the species, and he discussed the potential conflict between states that recognize same-sex marriage, and those that don't. He also said gay marriage offends his religious sensibility; he's a fairly regular church-goer, attending various Christian denominations occasionally.
McMillan also fell back on tradition: "From Biblical times, a family of husband and wife has raised children."
Frank Dresbach, taking a break from a bike ride over a pint of ale at Old Town Ale House in Ballard. He's married, and his parents were married before his father died, he said.
"There are plenty of homosexuals who are more productive citizens than I am," he said, laughing. "Why shouldn't they have the same rights I have?"
Scott Vincent, pastor of Calvary Chapel Edmonds, tries to separate politics from his Sunday sermons. People come to church "to know the Lord and be built up in Christ," he said, not to get bombarded with political issues.
But last Sunday, the subject of gay marriage found its way into his sermon. Calvary pastors work their way through the Bible one chapter at a time; after 11 years, Vincent had reached the 12th chapter of Romans.
"Romans 12 talks about us living in holy sacrifice. You look in San Francisco and you see ways we are being tempted to take steps away from the Lord, instead of towards him."
Vincent told his congregation he had stopped watching TV over the weekend because he was sick of hearing all the news about the San Francisco gay weddings.
He stressed yesterday that his fellowship is not "anti-gay," and he previously has helped gay people trying to leave that lifestyle.
"We see it as a sin ... that people need to repent and turn from, and God can help them do that."
Linda Nasatka, 26, as she pulled espresso at the Java Joint in White Center: "If two people love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together, why not? I have lots of friends who are gay and they love each other and it's just the same as a man and a woman.
"I think we've come a long way, and it's time for a change like that. We're not old-fashioned anymore.
"Everyone dreams about getting married, having children, growing old together and just because of your sexual preference — you can't do that?
"I love George Bush. I'm totally behind him on everything and I support what he's done with the war. I guess this is just one thing I don't agree with him on. The bottom line, aren't people people?"
Print Gant, a 48-year-old maintenance worker. Gant, a Baptist, is the father of two girls and one boy. He has never married.
"Marriage is a man and a woman. Not two men and not two women.
"I don't want my kids to be around that," he said, about married gays and lesbians.
Gant, getting his head shaved at Mo'Better Salon in White Center, said he usually disagrees with President Bush and his politics. But not on this day.
"God made women and men. He made women from a man's rib. (Homosexuality) is a sin. The worst sin you could commit."
Mark Schoen, Seattle: "I think it's the absolutely worst approach (Bush) could take. I don't think the Constitution should be used for social engineering. It should be with the states. It seems like each and every state does what it thinks is best.
"I don't see why gays and lesbians should be prohibited from marrying. It seems like he's just playing to his base."
V.J. Wilcox, Bellevue, who has been married for 22 years: "I have no problem with people who want to get married. It doesn't affect my marriage. It shouldn't be in the Constitution, that's putting religion in it. I'm very much opposed to that."
Bladimir Sanchez, Cuban immigrant, playing marimbas on the sidewalk outside the Bellevue Art Museum: "That's something personal. America is a free country. Two guys together, what is the point? I don't see no reason (to prohibit it). If they want to marry, let them marry."
John Allen, Kenmore: "I think they should separate the idea of marriage from the church and the government. I think they're different things. People who are getting married, of the same sex, should have the same ... rights as everyone else."
Brian Walter, married owner of the 106th Avenue Hot Dogs stand in Bellevue: "It completely polarizes the country. The job of the president should be to include all of the people rather than polarizing us against them. I don't think that anybody should say it should be a doctrine of a man and a woman. It should be up to the two people who are committed to a life together."
Brian Elliott, 33, of Lynnwood, said the proposed amendment is a political ploy. Elliott never thinks much of Bush's policies, he said, but he is particularly appalled by the president's support of this amendment.
"It's ridiculous. Church and state should be separated."
The same-sex marriages in San Francisco revealed a trend to Bush, he said, and the president jumped into the debate to sway undecided voters in the presidential election.
Elliott supports legalizing same-sex marriage but said it should be done by states and local governments, not by the federal government. He said he would be equally opposed to a constitutional amendment allowing gays to marry.
Susie Grant, 65, Lynnwood, a widow and mother of three grown daughters: "I don't feel the Constitution needs to be trifled with over such a trivial issue."
Same-sex marriages are inevitable, she said, and that's OK with her.
"Marriage is mainly a contract that is really more about government than religion."
She sees the controversy as a women's issue, she said. She said she heard conservative-radio broadcaster Pat Robertson arguing that marriage is designed for procreation, and that angered her. She doesn't believe government should be telling people what they should do in marriage — including who can marry.
David McFerran, 37, of Mill Creek, isn't particularly concerned about the same-sex amendment. He's married, has a daughter and says he doesn't think it's the president's place to say who should be allowed to marry.
"If people want to get married, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't."
McFerran says he believes Bush is making the proposed amendment an issue to garner votes from the religious right.
Don Jones, 78, of Bothell, said he knows a little about marriage.
"I've had the same wife for 54 years, and I've still got her," he said as he finished his cup of coffee at the Mill Creek Starbucks.
Jones said he is troubled by same-sex marriage, so he supports a constitutional amendment that would ban it once and for all in the United States.
"Whatever they want to do on their own, that's fine, but I don't like it publicized."
Clyde Wilson, 61, of Mill Creek, said he is morally opposed to gay marriage, and as he sees it, after the same-sex unions in San Francisco, the president didn't have a choice but to say something.
"Let (gay people) be who they want to be — I don't care — but let's not get it out there in the public market."
Wilson believes San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom should be arrested for issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
He said he is not religious, and he said he has voted as a Democrat for most of his life. But he's glad the president is taking a stand on the gay-marriage issue, he said, because if it's left up to states, people would move around and get married where it's allowed.
"Federal government should step in," he said.
Elisa San Juan, a 41-year-old Mexican immigrant, runs a bridal/First Communion/quinceanera dress shop that has printed invitations for five customers acknowledging a same-sex ceremony.
"Every person is free to do whatever they want," she said in Spanish. "We don't have a right to judge other people."
Joanne Houk, 59, mother of two children and married to husband Bob for 38 years, from her silkscreening shop, Screen EFX on 16th Avenue Southwest.
"I think the federal government should stay out of it. Do gay couples have a right to marry? Sure, why not?"
Bob Houk, who runs the Center Sign Shop just down the street from his wife.
"Live and let live, right? I just think everybody should just do what they want to do. This is America. We pay taxes so we can do what we want to do."
Seattle Times staff reporters contributing to this story were: Florangela Davila, Levi J. Long, Jon Savelle, J. Patrick Coolican, Emily Heffter and Diane Brooks.