Who says there's no free lunch?

"You have to get the meatballs," Chris Ramos tells me.

Bill Lettner nods beside him: "Oh, yeah. Absolutely."

I know better than to argue with these two.

They have eaten here at the Renton Ikea restaurant every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday for almost four months, absolutely free, thanks to a newspaper coupon.

The coupon, which first ran Jan. 30, was titled "Take a Friend to Lunch — On Us!" There were no requirements or restrictions; just a few lines for your name and address.

Ramos, 31, and Lettner, 30-something, bought 24 papers between them that day, and then another 27 papers when Ikea repeated the coupon at the end of March.

So that is why they could drive here from their jobs at Horizon Air with their eyes closed. That is why the red-shirted Ikea employees call them by their first names and the guy behind the food line directs them his way, as though he's landing a plane.

And it explains how they can spot when the labels for the pastries in the display case are mixed-up, and wave you off the bottled drinks to push the lingonberry juice from the machine — then suggest you add a slice of lemon. ("It's nice and refreshing," Ramos says).

But it all ends Saturday, when the coupon's only restriction — an expiration date — hits, and hits hard.

They pass through the cashier line like it's a tollbooth, while I fumble for my wallet.

"Ready for your Las Vegas trip?" Ramos asks cashier Tamara Troberg.

"Seven days!" she says.

You going to miss these guys? I ask.

"Oh, yeah," she says. "I don't know what they're going to do when their coupon runs out. Maybe get the kids' meal and split it. It's just $2.75."

They have a regular table, overlooking the Klack trays ($7.99) and the Onska gift wrap ($1.99) and a great spot for people-watching.

They talk about Horizon, where Ramos is a Webmaster and Lettner is a distribution analyst — jobs that allow them to fly free anywhere on the West Coast. They talk about their travels, their wives, the Mariners.

"But usually we talk about our disbelief that we've been getting free lunches for three months," Lettner says.

Usually they just take each other as the "friend." They have brought friends from the office ("I guess it's treating," Ramos says), but never their wives, Julia and Nalani, who are envious and wish they worked closer to Ikea.

But sometimes there are leftovers. And, more than once, there has been furniture.

Lettner bought a bookcase ironically named Billy, and Ramos bought an Oppli coffee table and an Akrobat entertainment center. And, after lunch on the day before Valentine's Day, each bought his wife a heart-shaped pillow — on sale, at 40 percent off.

Some numbers to chew on:

Back on Jan. 30, Ramos and Lettner spent $6 on 24 newspapers at 25 cents each. The coupons clipped from those papers covered their lunches every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in February and March. That works out to 12.5 cents per lunch, per guy.

On March 23, they bought 27 Sunday newspapers at $1.50, for $40.50. The coupons in those papers fed them three days a week through April and May. That works out to 75 cents per lunch, per guy.

And these are not just lunches.

The other day, they handed me a spreadsheet that Ramos has prepared, listing the dates and everything they have eaten. They started with the signature Ikea meatballs and have sampled the ham and scalloped potatoes, the chicken souvlaki pita, the country-fried steak, the veggie lasagna. (Ramos is partial to the barbecued ribs; Lettner, the beef potpie.)

And, truth be told, there's a little more spread on them. Ramos has gained about 8 pounds since they started eating at Ikea; Lettner was less specific. "A few."

Store co-owner Bjorn Bayley laughed long and hard when I told him about their scheme.

"I think it's wonderful," he said. "I don't feel at all ripped off. I think it's great entrepreneurship."

The coupon was intended to increase midweek traffic at the store, Bayley said, since weekends now make up about 55 percent of sales. The store has tried other things to draw people in, like Jazz Night on Tuesdays in the restaurant. ("It's quite the pickup spot," Bayley joked.)

And even though the coupons "nearly killed" the store's restaurant manager, Bayley said, "business has gone through the roof."

There are plans for another coupon that would reimburse the cost of customers' meals if they spent $50 on furniture. But nothing like the coupons that Ramos and Lettner have stacked in the back of Ramos' Honda.

"I wouldn't want these guys to die of obesity," Bayley said.

But might he use them in an ad? I asked. "That's what I'm thinking," he said.

They're already living one.

"On the Ikea commercials, Ingmar has this quote: 'You don't have to be rich, just smart,' " Lettner says. "That's us."

Nicole Brodeur's column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Reach her at 206-464-2334 or at nbrodeur@seattletimes.com. More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists

She liked the food, loved the company.