Waiters, write it down, and that's an order

Among the proud feats I practiced and perfected during years spent waiting tables was this: I could walk across a room (still can!) balancing in one hand three saucers bearing three coffee-filled cups. Impressed? Don't be. Just because I'm capable of this slick trick doesn't mean I should do it. That's also true for another service feat I once proudly practiced and have since come to abhor: taking customers' orders without taking notes.

I'll never forget the first time I encountered this sport, which, from my point of view, has reached Olympic proportion in and around Seattle. I was at a Chinese restaurant 25 years ago when a waiter knocked my socks off by memorizing an order for a table of 10 — and getting it right. I was so impressed that I not only adopted the practice, I befriended the waiter. It turned out he was a serious gambler and, not surprisingly, a card-counter extraordinaire.

I flexed my memory muscle hard and often as a waitress, and was eventually capable of taking an order for six with my hands clasped behind my back. Attending college after many years in the restaurant business, I amazed a group of 30 freshmen by remembering each of their names on the third day of class. This "extra-credit" assignment wasn't expected to be accomplished till quarter's end. When my awed classmates asked how I managed to do it so quickly, I told them: "From the time you were in kindergarten, I've spent my evenings taking mental notes, remembering who ordered the well-done steak and who wanted salad with dressing on the side."

Granted, those evenings were peppered with my fair share of mangled orders and forgotten appetizers, unleashing, on occasion, the wrath of customers and chefs alike. And I'm not too proud to say that my little ego game — because, let's face it, that's what it was — was played to the detriment of my patrons.

Oh, I know all the "reasons" for not taking notes. It's "more professional." It allows you to have better eye contact with your guests. It saves a step between the table, computer and the kitchen. Or, as my friend Sam Ward (who has the memory of an elephant and is one of the best waiters I know) says with conviction, "Memorization is an art form."

In the past several months I've been driven to distraction by that art form, thanks to errors encountered when too many waiters fail to write down my order, choosing instead to engage their brains in a game whose theme-song could be "Try to Remember" — emphasis on "try." And I find that, often enough, when they do get things straight, it's after having had to ask guests to repeat themselves, sometimes more than once. It's gotten to the point where I've considered buying pads and pencils and passing them out each time a waiter greets my table.

Glenda Jasso-Porter reports that at Kirkland's Cafe Juanita, as at many restaurants throughout the area, there's no house policy regarding taking notes at the table, though she says owner/chef Holly Smith encourages the practice.

"I've worked at other restaurants where it was never verbalized, but it was almost expected that you'd memorize the order. It was kind of an unspoken rule." Writing orders down is invaluable, says this tenured waiter. "If you're running around, busy, and have to memorize orders with two, three, or even four courses, you'd better have a record of it. I want to get it right the first time. Making mistakes is just not worth the aggravation."

James Chan, a longtime waiter at Lampreia in Belltown, keeps a pad and pen in his pocket and makes good use of it. "In a higher-end restaurant, it's more important for us to get things right because people have higher expectations," he says. "In the early '80s, I worked at Crepe de Paris, where we memorized everything. You became good at it, even if you had an overflowing section with as many as 10, 12 tables. Back then it didn't seem like we made many mistakes. At first it was a challenge to remember things, then it became natural. Now I couldn't go back to it, even in a restaurant with just a few tables."

Ward, who works part time at Nell's near Green Lake and hasn't written down an order in 16 years, says, "Nine times out of ten, when you're taking the order and a customer says, 'Are you going to remember all this?' it's like, boom! You blow it and forget something, like a salad." My point exactly.

Which is why I'm taking a stand, denouncing the widespread restaurant practice of memorization. To the dining-room managers whose edicts have prompted this unnecessary custom, I say, Oh, stop it! And to the many waiters who insist on memorizing orders, I implore you: Write it down! Why chance it? Isn't there enough uncertainty in the world?

Nancy Leson: 206-464-8838 or nleson@seattletimes.com