Dee Dee Ramone's novel: Joey, we hardly miss you
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The punk-rock icon's demise last month brought forth instantaneous grief from many quarters. Bono did a tearful tribute during a U2 show. A Seattle club owner sent out a bewailing e-mail - a sort of electronic seppuku.
"Joey, We Miss You," was the headline in the New York Post.
And Dee Dee Ramone? Don't expect a typical, normal display of emotion from the original Ramones bass player.
In his soon-to-be-published novel, "Chelsea Horror Hotel" (Thunder's Mouth Press, $13.95, June publication date), Dee Dee takes dissing to the macabre.
He writes of running into an old friend as he's trying to score drugs. The friend asks how Joey, who had been sick with cancer for years, was doing.
"Horrible, horrible," I answered Kevin enthusiastically. "Horrible! I really don't like to talk about it, but The Ramones are going to get back together, ya'know. No kidding. We're doing a reunion tour soon. Me, Tommy and John are going to wait till he dies, then we are going to try to make a big profit out of The Ramones. I'm sure the bastard won't mind. He's a pretty generous guy."
"You've got to be kidding, Dee Dee."
"No, I'm not, Kevin," I answered him. "He's really a swell guy. Trust me, OK? You know what he did? Well, you won't believe this, but he donated his body to The Ramones."
"I can't believe it," Kevin said.
"Well, it's true, my friend, believe me. It's going to be great. ... We're going to have him mummified so we can do shows with him. The music will come out from a tape machine at the soundboard and be mixed while we're onstage. During the last song, we are going to pull him out of the chair to his feet with wires that will be attached to a mechanical device that hangs over the stage from the ceiling. This will be during `Pinhead.' "
Brrrr, that's cold!
Of course, this is a wild and intensely weird novel, and when Dee Dee was writing it, Joey was still alive - but he had been gravely ill for months. Yet Dee Dee, who left the Ramones in 1989 (returning a few years later for a brief reunion), couldn't resist a few other potshots at Joey: "I guess the biggest drag would be to play with Joey without any other Ramones."
It might seem a bit shocking, but should we be surprised at impiety from a soul irreverent enough to co-write "I Wanna Be Sedated," "Teenage Lobotomy" and "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment"? New versions of these and other Ramones classics appear on a new Dee Dee Ramone recording, "Greatest and Latest" (Conspiracy Music, 2000).
Fronting a new band, Dee Dee Ramone - born Douglas Colvin - will be playing guitar and singing at the Ballard Firehouse Saturday - the day Joey would have turned 50 (9 p.m., $12.50 advance/$15 door).
Expect him to do his old group's hits - as he did when playing in a Ramones cover band, the Ramainz (with his wife, Barbara, and Marky Ramone). Two years ago, when the Los Angeles Times asked him about the cover band, Dee Dee said, "If people think we're ripping (The Ramones) off, then maybe we are. Who's to say? But I wrote most of the songs and have as much right to them as anybody."
• I-Spy hosts poetry slammer-turned-singer Saul Williams, fronting a seven-piece band on Saturday (10 p.m., $12). ... Japanese metal superstars YBO2 (pronounced eboh-eboh) rock out at the Rainbow on Saturday (9 p.m., $8 advance). ... Seattle's Critter's Buggin jam at the Showbox - with Bachir Attir - tonight (9 p.m., $15), before heading off on a tour. ... The Living Daylights and Hanuman mix jazz, rock and whatever at the Crocodile on Saturday (9:30 p.m., $10). ... Hip-hoppers Black Eyed Peas and Grandmaster Flash will be joined by a host of electronic artists at the Stadium Exhibition Center Saturday night (10 p.m.-4 a.m.). Tickets start at $35 for the all-ages concert/dance, and are available through Ticketmaster (206-628-0888 or www.ticketmaster.com) ... The up-and-coming Seattle band Kill Sadie has a CD-release show at Graceland Sunday (6:30 p.m., $6, all ages).
Tom Scanlon can be reached at 206-464-3891 or tscanlon@seattletimes.com.