Two dads and a boy; court nullifies custody agreement

ELYRIA, Ohio - The letter arrived more than six years ago, but Ben Goeller remembers as if it were yesterday.

His wife of 22 years had died. He was rearing a baby boy by himself. And now, someone Goeller had never met wanted to take that child away.

The letter was from Richard Lorence, a co-worker of Goeller's wife who claimed to be the boy's biological father.

"It was like I'd been hit in the stomach all over again," Goeller said.

The letter dragged both men into an ugly court battle over who was the boy's rightful dad. DNA tests proved Lorence's claim to be true, but Goeller insisted he also had a right to the boy because he had reared him.

Like mother and father, they ended up splitting young Bryan's time evenly, trading him every Thursday evening and Monday morning for three years. Goeller also was ordered to pay Lorence $293 in monthly child support. He never was happy about it, though, and appealed the decision.

Last week, the court ruled that the shared parenting agreement was illegal because the parties were not a married couple. Goeller was given sole custody.

"I think that's the way it should have been in the beginning, but I didn't expect that," said Goeller, 46.

Lorence, 46, refused to comment. "It's a personal family matter, and there's a child involved," he said.

Their reactions were as different as the two men themselves.

Goeller owns a stained-glass business in Elyria and lives in Olmsted Falls, a quiet community with tall trees. Lorence lives in a gritty neighborhood in Lorain, across the Black River from a steel plant.

Goeller and his future wife, Rondi, were high-school sweethearts. They married at age 19 and had children soon after, but Bryan did not come along until 1993.

Goeller was an active dad. He took Lamaze classes with Rondi and was in the delivery room when Bryan was born.

Four months after the birth, Rondi Goeller died of a burst brain aneurysm.

Goeller vowed to be both mom and dad to Bryan. He shuttled him between home and work and arranged meetings around the boy's naps and feedings. This went on for eight months.

Then Lorence's letter arrived. It was May 1994, just before Bryan's first birthday.

Although Lorence said he suspected he was Bryan's father, he did not know the boy's birthday or his real name, Goeller said. He called the boy Kevin, the name of Goeller's dog.

Goeller did not believe Lorence. He figured the guy wanted money.

So he hired a private investigator, who found that Rondi Goeller and Lorence had worked together. Goeller learned a year later that Lorence was serious about establishing paternity.

The Lorain man filed a paternity claim in Lorain County Common Pleas Court, and a judge ordered a DNA test to determine whether Lorence was the biological father. Once it confirmed Lorence was indeed Bryan's father, Goeller was worried he might lose the boy.

"For the first two years, it was just me and him 24 hours a day," Goeller said. "He was all I had because my kids are in college. We were buddies."

Goeller said he and Lorence informally agreed that he would have Bryan from Monday morning until 6 p.m. Thursday and one weekend each month. Lorence would keep the child the rest of the time.

But when the agreement was drafted, Lorence was granted custody every weekend, Goeller said.

He asked the court to alter the deal. A juvenile-court judge denied his request, ordered the child support and forced him to maintain health insurance for Bryan.

Goeller appealed the decision.

"I wanted my one weekend," he said. "I get tickets but can't take him to ballgames because they're on weekends. An awful lot of events for the school are on Friday. I pay all this money and don't even get to go to the function."

The 9th District Ohio Court of Appeals did not consider that issue. Instead, it ruled that the shared parenting agreement should be voided because the arrangement should pertain only to children produced by marriage.

Goeller was awarded custody because he had it before the agreement. But Goeller said Bryan likes Lorence, and he should have rights as a biological father.

Attorneys for the men may try to work out an agreement.