After Stone Gardens lesson, I've got rocks in my head

Forty feet up, staring at a ceiling inches from my nose, holding on to fake rocks on the side of a fake mountain, I could only ask: "Why am I here?" and then, more important, "How do I get down?"

Those were my thoughts when I recently took rock-climbing lessons at Stone Gardens, an indoor rock-climbing facility in Ballard. The first time on belay was nerve-wracking in the extreme, but the second time, I scrambled right up and actually leaned away from the wall on my way down.

Rock-climbing, I discovered, is fun. It's physically challenging, and like a hanging in the morning, it concentrates the mind wonderfully.

I started with an introductory class, which offers a few hours of basic knowledge including climbs up the Gardens' wall under the instructor's watchful eye. This allows you to test the sport to see if it's worth pursuing. Much to my surprise, at the end of the evening, I was exhausted but exhilarated. I signed on for the first series of four classes, "Tech 1."

Before I could take the course however, I had to pass the belay test, which means I had to master something far more difficult than a wall of rocks: tying knots.

Everyone in my intro class got the knots right away, but then again, they were all guys with Boy Scout backgrounds. I had a major cognitive problem with the figure-eight: You take a line of rope, make a loop which morphs into a figure eight, and then weave it into another figure eight. Huh? It's critical though, because this knot ties into the harness and is an umbilical cord to the belayer.

It took me several days to get it, but I successfully passed the belay test. The secret to a good belay is never take your hand off the brake rope. This sounds obvious, but a novice can forget. Forgetting is not an option.

For the first technical class, I showed up early to get into my harness and find a pair of shoes. (I'm fond of the shoes - stylish, light, resembling ballet slippers with shoelaces.) Vance Atkins, our instructor and a geologist by trade, proved to be a methodical and careful teacher.

First we learned to balance on the wall. We did a couple of warm-up climbs, then Vance had us go up without using our hands. Rock-climbing is not about brute, upper-body strength. Most of the work is done with the legs, balancing the body on the ball of the big toe.

Vance then showed us how to climb an English route, in which the climber uses only foot and hand holds with the same color tape. This was a challenge but I made it to the blue line on top. Hooray!

Our next few classes focused on bouldering and traversing. We weren't roped up since we wouldn't go more than 13 feet off the ground. We learned different body and foot maneuvers and were instructed to keep our arms as straight as possible.

Vance also taught us to plot our next moves. There are two kinds of climbers, he explained - fast-break basketball players, who innovate every move, and chess players who plan each step. I was more the chess player - another surprise for me, discovering how cerebral this sport can be. It's a wonderful blend of the physical and mental. One weekend on a practice traverse, two hours passed while I crossed a single wall. I made little headway but the intense concentration put me into a Zen trance. Of course, my body didn't care about the finer philosophical points. I overexerted and the next day I could hardly raise my arms to drive the car.

Watching accomplished climbers was a joy - beautiful, a dance. Their feet barely landed on the outcrops as they glided across the wall.

Once, I saw a man take a hard, 10-foot fall into the pea-gravel floor (actually, a very giving surface). He was fine but I was reminded that this sport is to be taken seriously.

Vance recalled his worst day of climbing:He dislodged a rock, knocking his belayer out, which in turn, dropped Vance 30 feet. Vance was OK but his buddy suffered a serious head injury from which he fully recovered. Vigilance is everything.

What makes it worthwhile are the good days, and one of Vance's best was climbing in Yosemite Park, seeing El Capitan in the warm afternoon light and then rappelling down a gully full of snow and waterfalls.

Unlike Vance, I doubt that I'll ever graduate to real rock. I have developed a liking for the fake stuff. You might say I've become a mock-rock jock.

If You Go

Stone Gardens is at 2839 N.W. Market St., 206-781-9828. It offers all levels of climbing classes. The introductory class, Climbing 101, costs $40. The Tech 1 course is $85 ($55 for members and 15 percent off for those who have completed Climbing 101) and includes a one-month pass for practice.