Asian Men

My, my, my. To judge from our mail, the sexiness of Asian males is one hot topic.

A few weeks back, we ran a tongue-in-cheek article from Asian-American writer David Nakamura and interviewed a group of local bachelors, about the recent media portrayal of Asian men as the ethnic flavor of the month.

We asked: Asian guys, do ya think you're sexy? And we asked women: Have you suddenly discovered Asian guys are hot? We heard from tons of you - from Asian guys who feel misunderstood, to Asian women who lament that white women are taking their guys, to lots of white women whose Yellow Fever is apparently sending their temperatures into the ozone. And a few of you who thought we were racist to ask.

Yes, the sexual-racial dynamics going on out there are interesting. (And remember, you're getting the expurgated version. This is, after all, a family newspaper.)

Read on for a taste of what you said.

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Do we think we are sexy? Stupid question, we know we are sexy. If you don't believe us, ask our women friends of all races . . . Bottom line: How you feel about yourself is a function of how you act. If you choose to "get down" about yourself because you're Asian (which is absurd!), you're a loser . . .

Your panelists talk of feeling most comfortable in Asian bars . . . We feel most uncomfortable in those places . . . not because we ignore our heritage or are ashamed of who we are but because those places are more narrow-minded and more cliquish than any "mixed" club that we frequent. When you walk into an Asian club, it's all about what car you drive, what label you're wearing, what language you speak, etc. We prefer to go to clubs and restaurants regardless of labels. Our only requirement is that they be sexy and fun (interestingly, that's also how we choose our girlfriends).

We were born and raised in America, but we grew up Filipino. No, we don't know Tagalog (the Filipino language). No, we have not been to the Philippines recently. However, our parents embraced the Filipino ideals of family and education and passed them on to us. Between the two of us, we have two graduate degrees (MBA and law), successful careers and value our family above all else. Our upbringing has given us the confidence to be not just a successful Filipino, but more important, a successful person. That's sexy . . .

Sometimes people use their ethnicity as a "crutch" to shield themselves from reality. "That girl won't go out with me because I'm Asian." "I didn't get that job because my boss hates Asians." These are examples of weak-minded individuals using the excuse of "being Asian" to cover up inadequacies in their personality and being . . . Being Asian doesn't automatically make you sexy . . . being a strong, confident individual does! Good looks can't hurt, too.

- Joseph and Joel Manalang, cousins, 30 and 31 respectively, Belltown ---------------------------

Have I suddenly realized that Asian guys are hot?

Have I suddenly realized that Asian guys are hot? Yes! Yes! Yes! And I would have discovered this truth sooner had I not always believed that Asian men do not approve of white, American females.

My hot Asian discovery began about three years ago . . . I found the perfect male: a man my father would like, from a respectable family, with a good work ethic, who still believed in monogamy.

And - is he sexy? Well . . . let's just say that Asian men make love even better than they make television sets.- Peggy Donohue, Seattle

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Heck, yes, my Asian bruddahs are mega-fine, hella-good-looking, dang sexy (provided they have a good haircut). I'm more than finished even considering a white man. Now I want someone who won't take advantage of my culture and values, someone who feels the same way about his family that I feel about mine, someone who lives the life I live (as a person of color) when I go out the front door in the morning, someone who understands what the day has been like without saying a word. In my mind, that is an Asian man.- Tammie Tsujikawa, Seattle

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ASIAN MEN:

So . . . we were sitting at home after playing a stereotypical Asian tennis game when, to our surprise, an article fluttered open on our Chinese table top: "They're hot, they're sexy, they're Asian men."

Hmmmm. Do I feel sexy? I'm dead sexy . . . These are the times for the light tan toned slanted brothers of the Orient to rise up. As we roll up in our pimped-out Honda Preludes, we don't have to stand tall, all we gotta do is sit straight (5 feet 3 inches is good enough in a car), and bump to our Korean music . . . yeah, we feel kinda sexy.

But after a hard day of clubbin' and no phone numbers, the confidence level goes down. Suddenly, I don't feel so sexy. I go home, pass the leftover rice in the rice cooker, take out my contacts (put on my half-inch-thick glasses), and curl up to a nice book on analytical geometry and differential equations. I realize . . . that the limit as c approaches 0 of f(g(x)) is f(L). Damn, I'm good!

But do I feel sexy? Hmmm. Personally, I get no girls. I got no car. I got no cash. But damn, I'm sexy . . . 'cause, baby, David Nakamura says so.

- Tom Roe and Mike Woo, Kent, 16

I'm educated and articulate, buffed from working out and not unattractive. Yet I find myself sitting alone in movie theaters quite often, sometimes behind groups of single white or Asian females who never look my way . . . or Asian females with white or black dates . . .

Certainly, I'm encouraged to see the likes of handsome and charismatic Asian men like Jet Li and Chow Yun Fat as culturally marketable images. But, more so, I'd like to see Asian-American men as being nothing other than men in a variety of roles. You don't get to see Asian-American men on TV falling in love on soap operas, sharing camraderie-type jokes on sitcoms like "Friends" or raising families and dealing with teenage kids sneaking in after curfew, like on "Family Matters." . . . We just don't exist, period . . .

Do I feel like a hot cultural item? As of now, that will still be just one movie ticket, please.

- Fidelius Kuo, Seattle

I'm a 30-year-old Asian-American attorney. I'm pretty tall, work out regularly, dress well. I'm widely regarded as being funny and charming. I'm accustomed to Asian women showing interest in me . . .

For the vast, vast majority (of Caucasian women), being an Asian man is considered a significant negative factor, analogous to a white guy still living with his parents . . . I'm a lot smarter, more attractive and more successful than the average Joe, but a large majority of white women would never consider dating me...

But to go back to your original question, I do feel sexy, because by objective criteria, I am . . .

- R. Daewoo Kim, Seattle

I was born in Saigon . . .

In high school I was an honor student, yet I hung out with the rough and fighting crowd. After going to both Cornell University and the University of Washington, I am now a tool-design engineer with a black belt in tae kwon do. So simple labels don't fit me well, but I love who I am and what I've accomplished in life . . .

As a whole, I think the Asian male stereotype has begun to crumble . . .

By the way, I am married to a beautiful, Caucasian blonde . . .

- Chuong Vando, Lynnwood

I find it offensive to be found attractive by white women because of my race . . .

Some Asian-American women already fetishize me because I am hapa (half-white, half-Japanese). As Shawn Wong writes, perhaps it's because I'm white enough to fulfill the fantasy, but yellow enough to take home to Mom . . .

No matter the vagaries of racist sexual desire, I carry myself with ordinary human dignity . . .

- Jason Rabbitt-Tomita, Harvard Law School

I'm a 20-year-old sophomore at the University of Washington (half-Chinese, half-Japanese). I grew up in the Midwest, where I was basically one of the only Asian people anyone ever knew. Even in the Pacific Northwest, being Asian is kind of a stigma. A lot of the Asians around the UW associate only with other Asians. The other stereotypes are always there, too, like being geeks, playing video games habitually and driving lowered Hondas . . . Frankly, I'm tired of it.

- Paul Watanabe, Seattle

When all is said and done . . . Asian-American men will go back to being maligned by an ignorant media establishment that will refuse to hire Asian-American men for jobs in broadcast journalism; a government that will portray Asian-American men as spies and outsiders; a racist Hollywood culture that will hire only Asian-American actors for stereotypical TV and movie roles; and a spoiled American public that will never truly appreciate the scientific, technological, and economic contributions that many Asian-American men have brought to this country and this state . . .

- Pearce Ariola, Seattle

The article was just awesome! Being a typical 15-year-old ABC (American- born Chinese) living in Federal Way, it's not easy being "hot". . . Yeah, the girls have been, well, you know, checkin' me out lately, but it never clicked into my mind. I guess because of years of nerdiness, I got used to living in the shadow of the hot guys. Mainly other races . . .

- Owen Young, Federal Way

(I am) a very out Asian gay man . . . I have a master's in architecture from UCLA and a high managerial position in a large firm. My dates, most of them white, admire my dark complexion and smooth skin. Perhaps like Asian women, gay Asian men are seen as exotic and culturally mysterious. It is even better in Europe.

- Yong Heng, Long Beach, Calif.

I am sexy and smart, like most Asian people, in order to stay alive in this dog-eat-dog world. For those Asian brothers out there who aren't getting any, be confident, be yourself (I hope it's good) and be cool, because we are here to stay and we are getting noticed.

- Boris Chong, Federal Way

WHITE WOMEN:

I can't explain it, but I find most Asian men extremely attractive. I am a 25-year-old white woman . . . My problem is meeting them! I recently moved to Seattle, and have seen more beautiful Asian men than I've seen in my life, whether walking down the street, or driving in their cars. Where are they when I go to clubs, coffee shops and bars?

- Nicole Weimer, Redmond

I am a 24-year-old Caucasian female Washington native, and I have always preferred Asian males. In high school I was even made an "honorary Asian" and bought a jacket to match my friends' . . . My Asian friends say I have "Asian Fever."

I know these are general statements, but I really like the way most Asian guys treat me - they are polite (opening doors, paying my way), highly intelligent, funny, and they have excellent taste in clothing, music, hair styles and cars. Many Asian guys have great respect for their family and native country. I don't like Asian guys who are "too" American - guys who deny their culture . . .

Currently I am dating and/or interested in a Chinese guy, Vietnamese guy and half-Korean guy.

- Stephanie Baldwin, Renton

I've been attracted to Asian men since I started getting interested in boys. James Shigeta in "Flower Drum Song" and "Bridge to the Sun" was an early focus of my affection.

I have no explanation for my inclinations. I'm a second-generation native Seattleite of English-Dutch-German-Scottish heritage, with a fairly standard '50s local upbringing . . .

- Janet Sears, Seattle

One of the most dashing and romantic of my loves was a fellow of Japanese ancestry. Last year I went to the my 30th class reunion, and there he was. With his tight jeans, leather jacket and glorious waist-length black hair pulled into a ponytail, he was, by far, the hottest and sexiest man in the room! He never married, but is currently living with a 35-year-old white woman.

- Deanna Dell, Auburn

Can't say my opinion has changed one iota. No, Asian men are not particularly sexy, but then I'm more of the type who likes "tall, dark (haired) and handsome" men from fairy tales.

- Colleen A. McConnell, Seattle

I'm a 20-year-old very white female (5 foot 11). I recently fell in love with a hot Korean, and we are engaged! I had no idea how hot they are. Mine is athletic but small (5 foot 10, 130?), he's a cross-country runner. He's also very very smart. He's a computer-science major and doesn't have to work too hard at it, it comes naturally.

- Marissa Clark, Lynnwood

I am a white female who has found Asian men to be so sensuous. I can't remember when this interest began, although my mom says she may have eaten Chinese food the night I was conceived in Oakland, Calif. . . .

. . . During my work at a library, a group of Asian men came through on a tour. All of my co-workers expected I would not be able to contain my excitement. I think I did well; the drool was not that obvious!

- Ann Lafair, Bremerton

Talking about this makes me feel like I am walking on thin "PC" ice . . . On one level, I feel that it is OK to say I just like the physical characteristics of Asian men. I am a short white woman, and I actually like to be with men who are closer to my height. And I just love dark(er) hair, eyes and skin. Why? Why does my brother like women with red hair? Do we just like a certain "look," or are we attaching cultural stereotypes to the image?

I have dated several men of color, all colors, and have found their semi-"outsider" status to provide some welcome relief from white male dominance . . .

Meeting cute men was one reason I moved here from Tennessee for grad school. I have seen the diversity, but have yet to experience a lot of it. I was disappointed that people of color and white people often cling to their cliques, even in progressive Seattle. Oh, well. I am in social work, and I'd like to change that... Would I be welcome at these "Asian clubs"?

- Melissa Phares, Federal Way

I guess I have always thought Asian men were sexy - or at least the one I am married to and have known for 26 years. I always loved his slender physique (it's a little less so now) and his beautiful eyes . . . He has never fit the stereotypical role that Asian men get pigeonholed into - he had long hair, skipped classes and rode a motorcycle when I met him at 16. . . . And, yes, years ago I did get asked really stupid questions by Caucasians. My favorite was always what was it like to have sex with one - something I never knew how to answer, since he was my only experience. . .

- Laura Sequeira, Covington

I never realized Asian men would find white women attractive until I discovered that it's true from friends and co-workers at a local Major Software Corporation . . . They were genuinely surprised that I would even consider dating an Asian man. At their urging, I began to be a little more outgoing and dated several "arranged blind dates" . . .

One ended up being my husband. He's Mainland Chinese . . . We have a series of running jokes about our relationship, like this one: It's true what they say about Chinese guys. We American women are always ("hungry") again an hour later!

- Lucky Mrs. (Gretchen) Hua, Issaquah

I am not prejudiced, but I was very naive, as I had always stereotyped Asian men as short with a funny accent and thick glasses. That is until I met a man from Japan. We became best of friends, which later turned to dating and then an intimate relationship. Yes, he did have a thick Japanese accent that only made him more endearing . . . He also had thick black-rimmed glasses that reminded me of the kind that Jerry Lewis used to wear, but again, this added to his enigma . . .

I later met another Asian man. This one crept into my heart before I even knew what hit me. He is now my husband . . .

- Summer Takahashi, Steilacoom

ASIAN WOMEN:

Even in college, I was never asked out by an Asian man; the white guys or black guys seemed to be the ones asking me. I just assumed that my Asian brothers just wanted to be with white girls. I was really sad, because I really wanted to date an Asian man. I'm still very curious about Asian men.

But it's too late now, I'm married to a white guy.

- Vila Jarrell, Bellevue

I am a 17-year-old Korean American. I've always thought Asian men were pretty sexy. I live in a multiracial family, so it didn't really hit me until a few years ago that certain races are attracted only to certain races . . .

- Quinn Chiotti, Portland

I feel most Asian men lack the "physical" definition of being sexy, but mentally and intellectually they are the top of the crop. If I'm talking to a man and he listens, respects, remembers and understands me, I find it very stimulating. Asian men are that. I have high regard for their tendency to work hard, persevere and be family-oriented.- Hang La, Kent

BLACK WOMEN

When I saw my soon-to-be husband on a motorcycle, with thighs to die for - I knew he was the man for me. We've been married 11 years. He's Japanese American and I'm African American.

- Wadiyah Nelson-Shimabukuro, Seattle

It wasn't until I moved to Seattle that I developed a fondness for dating Asian men, and up until recently I dated them exclusively. But, being a black female in Seattle, I notice that the only men who really seem interested in long-term commitments are older Asian men, or white men. The black men seem totally hostile to black women, and the younger Asian men I'm attracted to (I'm 44 and very attractive) are pretty chauvinistic.

I think the whole concept of one race being hotter than any other is a racist fantasy ...I hope we can all get beyond this and see that all people, men and women, no matter what race or age, are beautiful. But, for the record, yes, I do think Asian men are the sexiest men in Seattle, even if they seem totally into themselves.

- Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid, Seattle

WHITE MEN

I was startled to see the headline: "Asian Men Find Themselves Suddenly Sexy." The racism and rudeness of such a statement caught me off guard . . . if Asian men are "suddenly" hot, they had better be banking the popularity points because soon they will be "roped off . . . and placed in the Smithsonian" (Nakamura) with every other "suddenly" popular group that faded out of the white American's short attention span. Then I'll only have the more than half a trillion Asian women to compete with for a hot dish of sum yung guy.

- Corey Smoot, Queen Ann.