Quack Attack -- Ride Amphibious Ducks To See Seattle With A Major Dose Of Not-So-Dry Humor

You're walking down the streets of downtown Seattle when suddenly the sound of quacking ducks fills the air. Then, the familiar strains of "Disco Duck."

You look up. It's a car. It's a boat. It's a parade float. It's a dozen people with yellow bills in their mouths, quacking at you. The Duck has landed. Bystanders gawk and small children cheer.

The "Ride the Ducks of Seattle" outfit and its fleet of amphibious vehicles have invaded the city, carting and boating passengers on tours that combine history lessons, public performance and a campy soundtrack.

On board, the captain punctuates each bad duck joke ("Never let 'em get the last quack!") with a "Ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom!" while the crowd grooves to "Rubber Ducky."

At first glance, the tour appears to sell itself on the novelty of its land and water experience. The large, white boats-on-wheels shuttle riders around various Seattle sites before launching into Lake Union.

But the real fun factor comes from the riders, who know they're part of a street spectacle. Towering above cars with a colorful logo plastered on its side, each Duck is splashy enough to merit a second glance. Fill it with 30 people, each blowing on an obnoxious, quacking noisemaker, and sidewalk traffic stops; cyclists crash into telephone poles, and street-side restaurant patrons halt midbite to stare. A chorus of quacks showers them all.

"People (who come on our tours) are not just casual observers," says Brian Tracey, co-owner of the tour company. "They become participants in the fun. You get all these people on the Duck and none of them know each other. You're in this stupid-looking vehicle, now everybody's looking at you, so you start to develop a camaraderie.'

The "stupid-looking vehicles" are retired and restored amphibious landing craft developed by the U.S. military during World War II to shuttle cargo from ships onto beaches. Built entirely by women, the craft were used during the Normandy invasion to maneuver through choppy water and waves. Yet in spite of the craft's hardiness and U.S. Coast Guard inspections, Ride the Ducks tours have at times been canceled because of high wind conditions.

A company in Branson, Mo., first used the vehicles to give tourists land-and-water tours of the city. Then an independent company in Boston followed. The Boston Ducks tours have been highly successful, shuttling 400,000 passengers a year and turning away as many as 1,000 customers a day.

Ride the Ducks of Seattle started last July with two vehicles. Three more will be added this summer.

The captains of the Ducks are natural hams, leading passengers in renditions of Ivar Haglund's "Hail to the Halibut." They dance, pretend to catch fly balls out of the Mariners' new ballpark, and spew bad duck joke after bad duck joke: "That Wolfgang Puck makes a mighty fine duck!" and "That just quacks me up!" Each has adopted a stage name, including Captain Whooah, Captain Seymour Stuff and Captain Dewey Party. And there's Captain McQuacken, a retired admiral and practicing attorney, who drives Duck tours for fun in his spare time.

"It's not for the prim and proper," says Berny Lai, a concierge at Sheraton Seattle Hotel and Towers, who sends visiting families on Ride the Ducks tours. "The captains make a lot of noise and they get good energy out of people."

As the Duck waddles past an instrument shop, a man sticks his head out the shop door and honks a trumpet. "Never let 'em get the last quack!" the captain yells back. Ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom. ------------------------------- If you go

Ride the Ducks of Seattle departs daily from the northeast corner of the Space Needle at Seattle Center on the hour from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Tickets, which include a Wacky Quacker, cost $20 for adults and $10 for children 3 to 12. Reservations are recommended. Group rates available for parties larger than 10. For more information, call 206-441-DUCK or 800-817-1116. Web site: www.ridetheducksofseattle.com.