In Search Of The Soul -- Spiritual Directors Help Clients Find `Deeper Meaning' In Life

A former pastor says his new job is to provide a road map for people on a "journey of the soul."

A counselor who dabbles in New Age spirituality says she works to help people find their way out of a fog.

A nun, writing in a Catholic magazine, conjures up the image of a spiritual director as a midwife, helping out with a soul-birth.

It seems everyone is seeking answers to questions of the soul, and there is a growing number of spiritual advisers who are trying to help them. It's not a new vocation, but it is a growing one.

"A lot of people are coming to us because their lives seem sort of dead and they want to see what the deeper meaning is," says Sister Katherine Dyckman, a spiritual adviser and professor at Seattle University's School of Theology and Ministry. It's up to the spiritual adviser to "create a safe space where people can talk about the realities of their lives, what gives them pain and joy. We don't just talk about prayer but how they can relate better to themselves, other people and God."

Richard Dupuis, a Seattle adviser whose three books on spirituality are more metaphysical than religious, says his clients "sense that something's just not working and they have soul work to do."

`Why?' drives spiritual directors

Spiritual directors have their beginnings in ancient history, when the question, "Why am I here?" sent a shaman, guru or high priest scurrying for an answer.

The Catholic tradition always has had a component of spiritual guidance by priest, nun or monk, and Jewish rabbis fit the age-old definition of spiritual director.

For Protestants and those outside traditional religion, such guidance has only caught on in the past few decades, said the Rev. Randall Mullins.

Protestants have recently become interested in the contemplative traditions of Catholicism, Mullins said. And they've needed help figuring out how to emulate them. So Mullins resigned as pastor of Pilgrim Congregational Church two years ago to help people answer questions that often include, "How do you pray?"

"It's something that people really do know, but they need to be reminded they know," Mullins said. "Sort of like reminding fish they already know how to swim."

Need for directors questioned

Some Protestants are resistant to hiring a person to help them with something that seems such an integral part of Christian practice, said Jim Wellman, part-time pastor at Rolling Bay Presbyterian Church on Bainbridge Island and head of Soulworks, which offers spirituality workshops for churches and businesses.

"It still seems Catholic or New Age-y to them," Wellman said. "Many Protestants still feel like they shouldn't be meditating, they should be evangelizing. But there's more to spiritual thinking than a belief system, and there's more to life than the church. People are looking for a way of life, so the church is having to come up with more complex answers for them."

People sometimes are more spiritual than they think, said Dyckman, the SU professor.

"People pray and don't know it. Prayer isn't just sitting with your eyes closed and your hands folded. I think a lot of men who go fishing really just want some solitude and time to reflect on life. A lot of people talk to God while they're stuck in traffic or jogging."

Vatican II played a part in the increase in spiritual directors, Dyckman said, by encouraging Catholic lay people to be active in their religion. It opened up opportunities for spiritual guides who aren't priests or nuns and it encouraged parishioners to explore spirituality more deeply.

Most spiritual directors charge from $25 to $90 an hour for individual counseling. Mullins works with about half a dozen people at a time and usually sees them once a month.

A large share of the spirituality business is in workshops for corporate managers or church groups. Wellman recently led a corporate seminar called "Creativity and the Soul." And earlier this week he led an Episcopal church group on Bainbridge in an evening workshop exploring the connection between poetry and soul.

Many spiritual directors have college training or certification - Seattle University offers a master's degree for people without much theological training, and a post-master's certificate for clergy and others who have the theology but not the counseling experience.

Clients look beyond psychology

Most people who come to them are middle-aged, the spiritual directors say, and most are looking for something psychology or psychotherapy couldn't offer.

"Psychologists are mostly interested in helping people get control of their lives, or, as Freud said, putting the ego where the id was," Wellman said. "But this is a journey of the soul, and we help people surrender to the mystery. As a Christian that means helping them give God a place in their lives."

He's much more likely to talk to people about how to pray than "exploring old wounds," Mullins said. "I ask them to reflect on where God is in their life, how does it feel when they've prayed about things. It's seeing things through a different lens than psychotherapy. It's a way to create space around a problem so the knot loosens on its own."

Still, for many clients, the search for spirituality is very close to the search for inner peace or a release from earthly wounds.

Ruth Sundheim's practice draws from Buddhist, Native American, Christian or other traditions - she calls it "holistic" counseling.

"I ask people about their health problems, whether they have grief issues and what their own spiritual path is. A lot of people are in a fog, they're depressed because what the culture tells them is that material things will satisfy all their needs. They won't. They're looking for spiritual peace."

Seeing a spiritual director "has definitely had an impact on my energy level," said Jonnie Gilman, a free-lance graphic artist who has worked for more than a year with Dupuis, who works in the more New Age realm.

"I was looking for ways of uniting myself," Gilman said. "I have a tendency to sabotage myself and this helps me not do that."

Gilman said she was attracted to Dupuis' "metaphysical outlook" and his technique - he uses "a mantra system" from Hindu religious tradition that's akin to hypnosis.

"It gets to your memories and fears in an almost shamanistic way," she said. "I've tried psychotherapy, and what I found was they tend to talk and talk and talk and you get stuck in the muck. I don't want to slam psychotherapists, but I think some people can get addicted to them."

Relying on word of mouth

Most spiritual directors say people find them through word-of-mouth - there is no category in the Yellow Pages. They post fliers or advertise on church bulletin boards or in bookstores. Churches may refer people to them.

"I find that people who are seeking meaning will be attracted to people who believe like they do," said Dupuis, who has been advising people spiritually for 10 years. His latest book, "From the Mouth of God" suggests that people will "find love, wisdom and understanding by living in alignment with universal truths and principles" found in all the great world religions.

Such suggestions may find a larger-than-average audience in the Pacific Northwest, Mullins said. People here are notorious for not attending church, according to religion surveys.

"People here feel a stirring like anybody, though," Mullins said. "It's kind of vague - they say they're spiritual but not religious. But that just means they worship in the arboretum instead of in church. They're seeking more spiritual fulfillment just like everybody everywhere is."