Cartoonist Battles Political Correctness -- John Callahan Draws Whatever He Thinks Of

PORTLAND - He fancies himself an equal-opportunity offender, unafraid to take on anyone with his pencil and his nasty sense of humor.

In John Callahan's new book, a "quasi-memoir" called "Will the Real John Callahan Please Stand Up?" he includes a sampling of the many irate letters he has received in his 20-year cartooning career.

Some of them are ignorant - many people don't know or can't believe he is a quadriplegic who has had only limited use of his arms and upper body since a 1972 car accident. Some of them are pompous, and some of them are expressions of honest, heartfelt disagreement.

"Please, let's come into the 20th century and stop offending everyone on the planet," pleaded Elizabeth J., from Chicago. "Can't your cartoon make us smile, not turn away in disgust?"

Sorry, Elizabeth, no can do.

Callahan draws whatever pops into his head, and if one of the roughly 100 newspapers and magazines (including The Seattle Times' Pacific Northwest magazine) that carry his cartoons doesn't like it, they don't have to run it. If one of them wants to cancel him, the way the Chicago Tribune and The Miami Herald have done in recent years, then too bad. He's not going to start censoring himself now.

"Win a few, lose a few," Callahan said of the defections. "The Miami Herald used to specifically ask for the sicker cartoons. That's the way it goes."

Besides, Callahan has some friends in high places. Richard Pryor loves his stuff. Judge Lance Ito mentioned him during the O.J. Simpson trial, then followed up with a fan letter and an invitation to come to court. (Callahan was appalled by the whole spectacle and declined.) And President Clinton, whose name Callahan can't say without a gesture of amused disgust, sent a note that showed a genuine familiarity with Callahan's work - but a selective view of its contents.

Bob Dylan is a fan, a fact Callahan relates in a hilarious story in his book. Callahan, a lifelong Dylan fan, got to meet his idol backstage before a concert and got a little too nervous. After Dylan greeted him, Callahan, in a moment of panic, blurted out that he wrote songs, too.

"You fool!" Callahan wrote. "The most accomplished songwriter in America - a living legend - a piece of America - the voice of a generation! Shaper of a culture, poet, prophet. Mr. Tambourine Man! And you tell him that you write songs, too! HA! You might as well have told the pope, `I say prayers, too!' Or told Madonna, `I've had intercourse, too!' "

And then there's THE MOVIE. (Columnist Dave Barry is a big Callahan fan, so it's OK to use capital letters, as Barry does, for emphasis.) Ever since 1989, when Callahan published his brutally honest, painfully funny autobiography, "Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot," there has been talk about a movie based on his life. Actor William Hurt had an option for a while and wanted to do a one-man show on Broadway, and then a movie.

Now Robin Williams has the rights and is working with Portland director Gus Van Sant. The two recently teamed up, to great acclaim, on "Good Will Hunting" and are serious about bringing Callahan's story to the screen.

In the meantime, Callahan remains jacked into the mainline of popular culture. He's got the cartoons, he's got the book, he's got the movie deal, he's got something cooking for TV that he doesn't want to jinx by talking about.

He's got a kicky World Wide Web site: www.eyescream.com/callahan. He's got Pat Riley, coach of the NBA's Miami Heat, using his life story (well, part of it) in one of his motivational books. He's got Camille Paglia dropping his name into her columns.

He's got talk radio. He sends cartoons to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, and she reads them on the air. He's cooled off on Rush Limbaugh, though, and he can't believe Susan Powter really has her own show.

"Living in this popular culture, it's like a parody of itself," he said.

Callahan is making plans for another one-man show, similar to the "Evening With John Callahan" he did a few years ago. He had to drop out of a race for the Oregon Legislature two years ago - he ran as a Republican - because of a health problem but says he's fine now.

He's got a wiener dog named Snickers that's a little whiffy but gets to climb all over the furniture, and he's got something more important.

"I have an inner life," he said. "I can unplug from all this and get away. So many people, this junky popular culture is all they have."