Kevin Bacon? You Gotta Have Connections

You ask, we try to answer. Several readers wondered exactly what the criteria are for being subpoenaed before Kenneth Starr's grand jury, since it appears that if you ever knew a woman named "Monica," FBI agents will be knocking on your door.

Alex Mindt, one such reader, even threw out the name of actor Kevin Bacon.

And the answer is, yes, there is no reason why Bacon shouldn't expect a subpoena. The record clearly shows he is less than six degrees of separation from The Crisis In The White House.

Some of you might be familiar with a popular parlor game, especially among college-student types, called "The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon." The way it works is that you can connect Bacon with any actor known to mankind - in six steps or fewer. The game was dreamed up during a snowstorm and a keg of beer.

For example, Marlon Brando was in "The Godfather" with Al Pacino, who was in "Sea of Love" with Ellen Barkin, who was in "Diner" with Bacon. So, in three steps, you have connected Brando and Bacon.

I realize that independent counsel Starr would require more than tenuous links before hauling in Kevin Bacon.

But all he has to do is follow the thread. There is just as good a reason to make Kevin sweat in secret inquiries as the others who've come under his scrutiny.

Not long ago, a West Palm Beach television station was subpoenaed for videotape shot during a South Florida visit last year by President Clinton. In that visit, Clinton spent a night at the estate of pro golfer Greg Norman. Starr wanted to know if there was video of Monica Lewinsky hanging out with Clinton at the estate, even though Norman heatedly denied it, and the TV station said no such footage existed. Kenneth Starr, however, believed there was some kind of connection.

Before that, a previously unknown Maryland Democrat named Bob Weiner ended up before the grand jury. He came under Starr's scrutiny because Weiner made some personal calls to fellow Democrats, questioning the legality of Linda Tripp's secretly taped conversation that took place in Maryland, since in that state, both parties being taped have to give permission. Kenneth Starr believed there was some kind of connection to his investigation.

And a few days ago, you might have noticed the news blip about Lewinsky's teen brother being interrogated by FBI agents who went to his college. Some wondered what the point was of scaring a teenager. Kenneth Starr, however, believed there was some kind of connection.

So by that criteria, let's see why Kevin should sweat.

Assisting me was Glenn Wasson, a computer science graduate student at the University of Virginia. He helps run a computer search engine that lets you find out every possible connection that Kevin Bacon has with anything (http://www.cs.virginia.edu/bct7m/bacon.html).

Wasson came up with one set of Bacon-White House scandal connections; I came up with another. Here is Wasson's:

Monica Lewinsky grew up in Brentwood, Calif., which also is the former home of O.J. Simpson. O.J. first achieved fame as a tailback for the University of South California. Another famous USC alum is actress Kyra Sedgwick. Kyra Sedgwick is married to Kevin Bacon. Now, maybe Monica confided to Kyra? Come on, that's a connection to the scandal if there ever was one.

I liked Wasson's effort, but I think mine is a little better:

Kevin Bacon is pals with Tom Hanks, both having starred in the blockbuster film "Apollo 13." Hanks is a "Friend of Bill," and was a prominent guest at a White House dinner the Clintons held last week for British Prime Minister Tony Blair. So . . . Clinton maybe tells Tom something, and, maybe or maybe not, the next thing that happens is that Tom repeats the conversation to Kevin. We'll never know unless both Tom and Kevin hear a knock on the door from a legal messenger delivering greetings from Ken Starr.

You're welcome to send me your submissions as to why Kevin Bacon should be subpoenaed.

Oh, I know it's all a parlor game. But given the headlines of the last couple of weeks, would anything surprise you?

"Kevin Bacon Questioned." Sounds like a real-enough headline.

Erik Lacitis' column runs Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. His phone number is 206-464-2237. His e-mail address is: elac-new@seatimes.com