Twa Tragedy Haunts Town As It Holds Memorial Service -- Montoursville, Pa., Frozen In Grief Over 21 Deaths

MONTOURSVILLE, Pa. - A month after his daughter, Kim, was killed aboard TWA Flight 800, William Rogers no longer finds himself weeping through most of his waking hours.

Instead, his mind wanders. He sees Kim, 17, his only child, kicking a soccer ball to a teammate. He stands in the entrance to her room and recalls her smile when he bought her the teddy bear that still lies on her bed. He wonders whether he should wash her bathrobe.

"It still has her scent, like she's still here, I just can't bring myself to do it," Rogers said. "I used to go into her room and just be there with her. Now I can't go in there without trepidation. I'm aware of everything, the stuffed animals, the Barbie dolls, her kite, the hockey poster.

"I don't know how we'll go on. I don't want Kim's room to become a shrine or a mausoleum. If you steep yourself in this, you won't come out. And, yet, we have to. I just don't know how."

Friends and relatives crowded the high-school gym and football field yesterday for a memorial to the 16 teenagers and five adults killed in the explosion of TWA's Flight 800.

Joining the 3,000 people at yesterday's service at Montoursville Area High School were Gov. Tom Ridge, TWA President Jeffrey Erickson, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and French dignitaries.

"The only thing we can do now is cling to the things that are most important: family, friends, love, faith and God," Giuliani told the mourners. "You showed the world the heart of America, the heart of compassion."

Montoursville Mayor John Dorin read a letter from President Clinton saying the government is doing everything in its power to locate remaining victims and find a cause.

There was also a memorial to many of the French club students on a hill overlooking the town.

Gifts left at the marked graves hint at lost innocence: a yellow and gold Washington Redskins scarf for Jordan Bower, 17; roses for Jessica Aikey, 17; chimes for Larissa Uzupis, 16; a poem for Rance Hettler, 18; a little basketball for Amanda Karshner, 17.

Four weeks after the TWA crash, Montoursville is a town frozen in grief, oppressed by memories of sweeter times and questions of how and why such a tragedy could touch their small community.

The chaos of the initial trauma has quieted, but the anguish only seems to sharpen as families contend with their children's empty, all-too-silent bedrooms and other tangible signs of their loss.

No one expects the memorial to salve the communal pain. But many hope it can help the town shift its attention to the future and away from the night when, Dorin says, "Time stopped for Montoursville."

"I'm not so sure this will help us but with school starting at the end of the month, it's important for everyone to move forward," said Glenda Grimm, whose daughter Julie Grimm, 15, died in the crash.

In some ways, Montoursville's 5,000 residents have returned to their normal routines. On Friday afternoon, the football team practiced at the high school. The marching band, a gaggle of giggling boys and girls, posed for a photograph for next year's yearbook. Clusters of children biked through quiet streets lined with gingerbread houses.

But signs of the town's anguish are as visible as the church steeple that dominates Broad St. Purple and gold ribbons, the high-school colors, are tied to lampposts, storefronts, car antennas and lapels. Flags fly at half mast and shop windows are adorned with sorrowful, hand-scrawled signs.

The lobby at the high school is lined with wreaths and notes to the victims.

Bernard Murphy, a retired postmaster, finds himself spending many afternoons alone at his church, Our Lady of the Lourdes.

"Every day, I look out my window and see those ribbons and I'm depressed," Murphy said. "I think about that girl they haven't found. Then, I spend half the day praying to make myself feel better. We're just heartbroken."