Pen-Pal Relationship Develops Into Marriage

The year was 1983, which seems like eternity now, when I went to a Lutheran Student Convention in Bozeman, Mont. I met Carsten at an ice breaker the first night and we continued to see each other during the week of whirlwind activities. At the end of the convention, Carsten and I exchanged addresses. He was a student at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh and I was a student at Eastern Washington University in Cheney.

I wrote a postcard to Carsten when I got home to Spokane. I never realized that one postcard would start a pen-pal relationship that would last four years. At first the letters came and went as time allowed. We saw each other through relationships, breakups and our many moves. The hardest letter that I had to write was after a head injury that left me in a coma for three days. When I got better, I wrote a letter that made no sense whatsoever.

On the other side of the country, Carsten was concerned that he hadn't heard from me and wondered if he would hear from me again. Once I recovered, our pen-pal relationship continued. But now the letters came once a week. Then one day, Carsten called me and asked if he could come to Spokane for a vacation.

It had been four years since we had seen each other and we had exchanged pictures once during that time. I wasn't sure if I would even recognize him. I remember standing in the Spokane airport looking at every man who got off that plane and thinking. "That's not him . . . well, maybe."

Finally a tall blonde with crystal blue eyes walked off the plane. My heart pounded as I loudly whispered: "Carsten?" He turned toward me and I think the rest was history. We had a wonderful two weeks and while he was visiting we decided to give this relationship a try.

We began dating long distance for what would be two years. It became very common for one of us to be rushing to the airport to catch a plane and fly across the country for an extended weekend.

Carsten's friends would tease him that he had it easy because he never had to pay for a date.

Actually our "dates" were more expensive than anyone could imagine. A plane ticket cost over $300, and Hallmark and Ma Bell both were being supported by us!

In December 1988 Carsten asked me to marry him, and we planned to get married in Spokane.

Our biggest decision: Who would make the move across the country.

After much discussion and thought, we decided at that time it would be easier for me to get a job in New Jersey as a social worker than Carsten getting a job in Spokane as a computer programmer.

On Sept. 9, 1989, Carsten and I were married in Spokane. After a honeymoon at Lake Chelan, I moved to New Jersey. Now all these things seem a lifetime away. We moved to Seattle in 1991, bought a house, and were blessed with a daughter in March 1994. I never would have thought a college pen-pal relationship would end up like this way.

- Joyce Rodne Thode, Seattle