Is Sex A Blessing Or A Curse? Each Of US Determines The Answer

Following hunger and thirst, sex is the third-strongest drive and instinct for men and women, but our greatest problem. It is not a drive for which we need to apologize, and it is not going to disappear.

The Bible teaches that God created our sexuality with deliberate intent, and blessed it. Sex is not a degrading necessity for men and women, but a good gift from God, and should be seen as such. When properly controlled, it serves life's highest purpose. But left to run rampant, it ruins the reputations, the careers and the lives of many promising and capable people.

There are those who learn too late that sex is a river of fire that must be banked and cooled by a hundred restraints lest it consume not only the individuals involved, but often others, as well.

In earlier centuries, the church, state and respectable society spoke in one voice on questions of morality. It was not that everyone behaved accordingly, but at least they knew what the rules were. The culture supported the strong stand held by family and church for premarital chastity, monogamy and marital fidelity.

We are now living in an era of change, where everything that was once nailed down seems to be coming loose. Traditional ideas and ideals are questioned and often discarded. Many think that the erosion of traditional values and the disappearance of accepted modes of behavior have left contemporary humans free. But it is a rudderless freedom, and that which was thought to be progress was change, all right, but the change has not necessarily been progress.

Each generation refights the crucial battles that either bring new vitality to ideals or allow them to decay. The moral order is not something enshrined in historic documents or stowed away like the family silver. It is a living, changing thing, and is never any better than the generation that holds it in trust.

A society is continuously re-created for good or ill by its members. This will strike some as burdensome, but it will summon others to greatness.

If we follow the principle that one human life is as valuable as another, the welfare of one can never be sacrificed for the gratification of another. Some types of sex relationships must be ruled out as immoral when either one or the other involved refuses to accept responsibility for the consequences that may follow. It is for this reason that civilized societies have enacted laws concerning marriage and have prescribed penalties for those who disregard the sexual rights of others.

When the sexual life of individuals is developed in accordance with its best possibilities, it normally finds expression in the institution of the home, where it may become an expression of love and devotion. It can there furnish the inspiration for the creation and enjoyment of the highest values life has to offer.

When a person's sexual life runs out of control or is perverted, distorted, or given a development out of harmony with other interests in life, it not only destroys important values, but is a real source of evil. Sexual freedom, without the responsibilities that are entailed, can be a monstrous evil.

Many hold the false notion that it is unwise, even dangerous and harmful, to suppress sexual desires. This could not be more untrue. Restraint, inhibition and self-control are positive words. Without restraints, it would be a chaotic world.

Not self-indulgence, but self-restraint and self-discipline are necessary if one is to realize the whole and integrated life. Character is not a gift. It is a conquest, and its kingdom lies upstream.

It is never reached by drifting.

Our present society unwisely allows the public stimulation of the sexual impulse to be blown up by a thousand forms of incitation in advertisements and displays. Our ancestors played down such public displays, believing that sex is a private affair, strong enough without public encouragement, and, indeed, made stronger by intimacy.

Since inducements from without are so strong and numerous, the battle for self-restraint and self-discipline, therefore, must be won from within. It is in the inner citadel of the heart and mind that decisions of character must be made and nurtured.

Words from a prayer written by Walter Rauschenbusch in the early part of this century can be redemptive if prayed in each succeeding generation:

God of all love and beauty, grant me a steadfast scorn for pleasure bought at the expense of another. . . . Grant that even the sins and weaknesses of the past may yield me added wisdom to restrain my own desires, and greater tenderness to help those who are tempted. Now, and in all the days ahead, make me not only loving, but wise in the distribution of my affections. Amen.