Maker Of Spam Finds Muppet Character Hard To Swallow

NEW YORK - He's a hairy, fanged, spear-carrying Muppet who worships Miss Piggy, incarnated in a forthcoming film as Queen Boom Shakalaka.

In gruff tones he menaces Kermit the Frog, who frets, in his nerdy voice, that he's about to be sacrificed on a pagan altar.

He's warty, unkempt and is said to use poor grammar and diction.

The name of this new Muppet is Spa'am, pronounced Spuh-AAM. And Hormel Foods, proud owner of the much-mocked Spam trademark, is making a major stink about it.

The company sued Jim Henson Productions in U.S. District Court in Manhattan for trademark infringement in July, complaining that Spa'am comes across as a "grotesque and noxious-appearing wild boar" who is "evil in porcine form."

As such, Hormel says, Spa'am begrimes the wholesome image of Spam, a popular pork-based lunchmeat that is high in sodium, saturated fat, cholesterol and calories. The Austin, Minn., company wants Henson forever enjoined from using the Spa'am name in the forthcoming film "Muppet Treasure Island" or on merchandise.

Last week's nonjury trial before U.S. District Judge Kimba Wood has been larded with the sort of elements that could make a litigation-weary public ga'ag.

Unsmiling Hormel lawyers, led by Hugh Latimer and Carol Simkin, flew into a dither if someone misspoke and said "Spam" instead of "Spa'am."

At one point, Latimer argued that a scene involving a cookpot suggested cannibalism. That prompted Wood to review the scene. Was the cookpot big enough to poach Kermit the frog and his pal, Rizzo the Rat?

One witness tartly pointed out that cannibalism, by definition, involves one species consuming a member of the same species. A pig like Spa'am, therefore, could not cannibalize, say, a rat like Rizzo.

Witnesses charged up to $1,000 a day or $350 an hour to expound on such arcana as "the wild boar in myths, legends and folklore," and there was great debate on whether Spa'am is a positive or negative character.

The Muppet film, which cost more than $10 million to make, is to be released Feb. 16.

Spa'am appears two-thirds of the way through and stays onscreen for nine minutes, two seconds. His name is said only once when, in booming tones, he introduces himself as high priest of wild boars. He captures Kermit, warning him he now faces the wrath of his boar-queen, the lovely Miss Piggy, here playing Queen Boom Shakalaka.

Spa'am, said Jerrold Robinson, a licensing consultant hired by Hormel, is "humorously negative." But he does not enhance the image of Spam and "may detract from sales.

Henson says Spa'am was conceived in the same pig-loving vein as "Dr. Strangepork," a parody of "Dr. Strangelove." Or "Swine-Trek." Or the "Pigseidon Adventure."

In court papers, Henson readily concedes Spa'am is derived from Spam "to make a joke."

Henson complains the suit is more about censorship and the stifling of artistic expression than trademark infringement.

Hormel fears the Spam name will be so tarnished that children will grow into Spam-o-phobes.

Bruce Keller, counsel to the International Trademark Association and a partner in the New York law firm of Debevoise & Plimpton, agrees with Henson that a First Amendment issue is at stake.

"Traditionally, courts have been very protective of books, plays and movies when claims of trademark violation are leveled against them," Keller said.

One of Hormel's complaints is Henson licensees may market T-shirts and other products using Spa'am at the very time Spam is trading on its own retro, reverse-chic appeal. Hormel now markets such "Spamtastic Gifts" as refrigerator magnets and boxer shorts.

Henson notes that the trademark has been the subject of such widespread unauthorized use, almost all of it derogatory, that it no longer is capable of being diluted.

Spam, first sold in 1937, is featured in the Encyclopedia of Bad Taste, where it's referred to as "meat-like matter."