Fish Story: Bass Spits Back Golf Ball

Three Cochran, Ga., men have had to "swear on a stack of bibles and do everything short of taking a lie-detector test" to convince folks that they actually saw a bass spit back a golf ball.

"I'd have a hard time making up something like this," Jerry Towns said in an interview with Ed Grisamore of the Macon (Ga.) Telegraph.

Towns was golfing with his uncle, Gene Towns, and Tom Fisher, when he pulled out his 8-iron for a shot on the No. 7 hole at The Woods Golf Course in Cochran. The 136-yard, par-3 hole has an elevated tee that overlooks a small pond and an island green.

"Jerry hit his shot high, with a lot of backspin," Gene Towns said. "It landed about 6 feet on the green, but it spun back off the green into the water."

When his Pinnacle plopped into the bass bed, a young largemouth the golfers estimated to be 14 inches long seized it for a snack.

"There was a swirl when that fish started charging the ball," Gene Towns said. "Then there was another swirl. That fish had the ball in its mouth and made a circle. . . . I was looking at the ball as it came from under the water. It was like an imaginary hand just took it and threw it back up on the green."

Said Fisher: "I don't think we had better tell anybody about this. Nobody is going to believe us."

Jerry Towns missed his birdie, but settled for a peculiar par.

"He had plenty of room to putt . . . without getting his feet wet," Gene Towns said. "When we got to the green, that fish was still there in the bed. His fins were up. He was angry.

"People laughed and were checking our carts to see if we were drinking. But it's the truth. My name and reputation are standing on it."

BLAME JONES

Jimmy Johnson, in his new job as a studio analyst for the Fox Network, didn't wait long to needle Dallas Cowboy owner Jerry Jones.

The former Dallas coach predicted the Cowboys will lose to the Los Angeles Raiders in the next Super Bowl, and blames the loss on Jones.

"I see the Raiders and the Cowboys in the Super Bowl. I see it being a tight ballgame, with the Cowboys being penalized for having 12 men on the field - the 12th being Jerry Jones - putting the Raiders in field position, kicking the field goal. Raiders win it."

HISTORY LESSON

First-year assistant coaches in major-college football this year include Doug Williams, 39, a former NFL quarterback for Washington.

Williams, coaching running backs at the U.S. Naval Academy, said: "What I've done is history. What we're doing here is trying to make history."

That was before Navy lost its season-opening game to San Diego State 56-14.

THEY SAID IT

-- NBC's Mike Ditka, on Fox TV's Jimmy Johnson: "If my hair can look better than his, I'll have it made."

-- Brian Henesey, 5-foot-5, 215-pound running back from Bucknell who hadn't carried a football in two years, on landing a job with the Arizona Cardinals: "It's like when you're a little kid on your first Christmas, and you go down and look under the tree and see Santa Claus really did bring you presents."

HE WROTE IT

-- Bob Matthews, Gannett Rochester Newspapers: "Cheers to Tampa Bay Coach Sam Wyche for suggesting the elimination of all preseason games. . . . It would eliminate the most obnoxious thing in sports today: NFL owners charging full-price admission to practice games."

Compiled by Chuck Ashmun, Seattle Times