Squirrel Problem Stirs Up Debate - And Emotions

DEAR MS. H.E.: Have just read your article (June 12 column) about trapping squirrels - in utter disbelief. We are supposed to be living in a time of common decency; we are working towards it, finding solutions to stray children and pets and the homeless, and here is an article advocating trapping squirrels. Do you know how cruel trapping is? Why don't you try a trap yourself and find out before writing advocating cruelty. I think people don't need encouragement to be cruel.

DEAR MS. H.E.: TRAP YOUR OWN SQUIRRELS. Just buy about 20 feet of .030 aluminum welding wire (Yellow Pages - Welding Supplies), cut it into 18-inch lengths. Cut a branch about 10 feet long and trim off all the limbs. Make a wire snare (lasso) about 3 inches in diameter and wire it to the branch about every foot. Drive one end of the branch into the ground and lay it against a tree at a 45 degree angle. Put bread crumbs at the bottom and 2 hours after you catch the first squirrel the branch will be full of them. They all want to see what is going on. Wear gloves, and with a pair of pliers cut the wire, put the squirrel in a 5 gallon plastic bucket with a lid, don't let them loose in Renton, please.

DEAR MS. H.E.: As a follow-up to your article regarding squirrels, I thought I would send you a copy of a bulletin from the Washington State Department of Game that I was given by a co-worker many years ago. I have no idea how old the bulletin is, but obviously published

before animal rights was PC. Please note the last paragraph mentioning not to release trapped squirrels because it expands their range. Maybe if people think of these as a rat with a furry tail they might be more inclined to follow the directions.

DEAR READERS: Here is the final paragraph referred to in the letter above. It is from the current Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife bulletin "Controlling Nuisance Eastern Gray Squirrels."

"Do not release Eastern Gray Squirrels after trapping them. Remember that they can carry encephalitis, rabies, parasites, and other diseases. We do not want these deleterious rodents expanding their range. The most humane way to euthanize them is to place the squirrel, trap and all, in a garbage can for several minutes. This quickly and humanely drowns the squirrels."

Well now! Here is my opportunity to pen a thoughtful essay on the rights of all living things vs. the realities of urban - and suburban - life. It's too bad thoughtful essays aren't within my powers. A few muddled thoughts will have to do.

First, let's back up to the beginning and revisit the damage squirrels can inflict on your house if you're so unfortunate as to be chosen as a nesting site: urine-soaked walls; persistent stench; electrical damage from gnawed wires; fire danger from same; little scuffling noises that disturb your sleep and destroy your peace of mind.

These are not minor consequences. Does anyone propose that the moral thing to do is to leave the squirrels in place? Just turn the house over to the squirrels? Surely not. So let's say you have a pair of squirrels nesting in your home and you need to get them out.

The traps used for catching squirrels are called live traps. The animal takes the bait. This trips the trap. Barred sides drop down. The animal is trapped inside a steel wire box.

Being imprisoned in a steel wire box is doubtless a terrifying experience for any animal. It may be that the ordeal causes lasting emotional or psychological damage. But, as far as I know, live traps are the only humane, effective way to remove squirrels.

Now you have two trapped squirrels on your hands. You have also raced around and plugged all possible squirrel entry holes to the house. What next?

Do you let the squirrels go in the yard? Apparently, once squirrels have tasted the comforts of human housing, they become extremely reluctant to return to that rustic hole in the tree that once harbored them. Urban wildlife experts have known infuriated squirrels to gnaw right through a roof to regain entry to a house.

So letting them go in the yard is out.

In the squirrel column that started all this fuss, I quoted a professional trapper who advocated releasing the squirrels "deep in the woods." As any number of readers pointed out, this is idiotic. What was I thinking? Why hasn't the Department of Wildlife called to give me a stern lecture?

Dumping nonnative species in remote areas is no solution to any problem. As one reader put it, there really isn't any "deep in the woods" left anymore. Instead, in the words of another reader, "the only thing that is solved is that your problem becomes someone else's."

And, if one could find a "deep in the woods," one would be disrupting the native species we should be trying to save.

So much for squirrel dumping. A very bad idea. What do we do with these squirrels?

You can begin to see why the Department of Fish and Wildlife recommends the solution it does: "Drown 'em." There doesn't really seem to be any other answer.

Not so many years ago, few would have flinched at that advice. We all would have been busy wringing chickens' necks, butchering livestock and shooting varmints. Well, that was then. We all know things are different today.

I couldn't drown a squirrel. Could you?

So I guess that leaves to your own conscience how you deal with these two hypothetical trapped squirrels. I do have one helpful suggestion for you in the "Can't drown 'em" camp, though: Get out there this weekend and squirrel-proof every inch of your house. Hopefully, squirrel drowning won't ever be more than a hypothetical decision for you.

Susan McGrath's column runs every two weeks in the Home/Real Estate section. Send questions and comments to: The Household Environmentalist, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA, 98111.