Man's Apparent Suicide Is Linked To Vigil For Cobain -- Shocked Friends Say They Saw No Warning Signs

A Kent-area man who went with friends to the Kurt Cobain vigil at Seattle Center Sunday evening went home and apparently killed himself in the same way as the musician did - with a shotgun to his head, police said.

The death yesterday morning of Daniel Kaspar, 28, shocked friends and acquaintances, who said they saw no signs he was depressed or despondent.

One close friend, who attended the vigil with Kaspar but declined to be named, resisted making a connection between the two deaths but acknowledged the timing was difficult to ignore.

"You can't answer it," said the man, a 34-year-old carpenter.

Those who work with suicidal patients agree the answers aren't always easy. Some fear a rash of copycat suicides among Cobain's impressionable fans and are urging members of his grunge generation to watch out for one another in the coming days.

Susan Eastgard, director of the Crisis Clinic, said her agency has received about 300 calls a day since Cobain's death, including suicidal people who wonder how someone who had so much could end it all, parents worried about their children and a few who say they were friends of the singer. The clinic usually receives 200 calls a day.

Cobain, of the group Nirvana, was found dead in his Madrona home on Friday. The King County Medical Examiner officially ruled yesterday that the grunge star died from a self-inflicted shotgun wound to his head. Toxicology tests were done, as they are routinely in autopsies, but the medical examiner said those results will not be released to the public.

King County Police spokesman Dave Robinson said Kaspar's body was discovered by his roommate shortly after 6 a.m. yesterday in the apartment the two men shared in the 13100 block of Southeast 240th Street, just outside Kent.

Robinson said Kaspar left a note expressing concern for the young son he was leaving behind. Kaspar was divorced.

Kaspar's roommate, who also attended the Cobain vigil, told police Kaspar was upset about Cobain's death and that it appeared to be one of several things weighing on his mind, Robinson said. The roommate could not be reached for comment.

But others, including Jean Gray, the apartment manager, said Kaspar's apparent suicide was unexpected.

"Two weekends ago, we were all sitting out on our front porch talking about when the pool would open," said Gray, describing Kaspar as quiet and friendly.

She said the 28-year-old worked at a chemical plant in Tacoma and appeared to be in good shape financially. Gray said he took great pride in his red Mustang, which he frequently washed on the weekends, and had recently bought a motorcycle and new television set.

"You don't go out and buy all this major stuff when you're planning your death," said Gray, who believes Cobain's suicide must have triggered something in Kaspar.

The carpenter, who said he has known Kaspar for 12 years and used to be married to his cousin, said Kaspar had talked of Cobain's death over the weekend but didn't seem particularly upset over it.

He described Kaspar as a music fan, but "he didn't worship" Cobain.

The carpenter said that on Sunday, he, Kaspar, Kaspar's roommate and two others headed to Seattle Center about 3 p.m. After the vigil, the group went out for several beers in Seattle, heading home before 10 p.m.

"We were in an excellent mood," he recalled. "We had a good time."

He last saw Kaspar about 10:30 p.m.

"He said, `I'll see you in the morning,' " the 34-year-old recalled.

"It's a waste of a good life. That's the same thing they said about Cobain."

Two psychiatrists who work with suicidal people said there are no indications there will be a rash of copycat suicides following Cobain's death. But the death of someone so charismatic and so vulnerable himself strikes a chord with a generation many consider particularly volatile and impressionable.

Dr. Christos Dagadakis, director of emergency psychiatry at Harborview Medical Center, said that in the past year friends of young people who've died as a result of street violence increasingly have showed up with drug overdoses or self-inflicted wounds at Harborview.

And Cobain's death already has caused one patient to raise life-or-death questions of her own, said Dr. Mick Storck, attending psychiatrist with the Child Study and Treatment Center, the state's psychiatric center for children and adolescents.

But many who will be searching for answers in Cobain's death are thinking only of escape, Storck said. The finality of death doesn't occur to them.

"Frequently their thinking is muddled and they're not thinking at their best," said Dagadakis. "They think it's an isolated act, but it has a devastating effect on others around them."

Drugs play a big role, said Storck, removing "the last strands of the safety net for some people."

Dagadakis said he is most concerned that Cobain's death is being romanticized and glorified by planners of Sunday's vigil and by news media.

A photograph that appeared in Saturday's Seattle Times showing a portion of Cobain's body as detectives examined the scene at his home was particularly disturbing, Dagadakis said, as were parts of the singer's rambling suicide note that were read at the vigil and widely printed.

"That whole thing at the Seattle Center was a glorification of this person who was very sad, who may not have been thinking clearly at all," Dagadakis said.

Kaspar's carpenter friend said the front-page photograph clearly caught Kaspar's attention because they discussed the photograph over the weekend.

"We had talked about it," the man said. "He thought it was a little weird that you had the picture with (Cobain's) feet."

Both Storck and Dagadakis emphasize the pain being felt by Cobain's fans is something to be worked through.

"Illnesses like depression are very treatable, and they need to know that," said Dagadakis.

"We need some kind of buddy system to help if they see someone drifting away . . ." Storck said. "But the grunge culture hangs together. It's a peer group that is likely to have had life experiences that make them less trustful of others. People who are Nirvana fans need to look out for each other right now. They have a special obligation to each other to be looking out for someone who says what Kurt Cobain did was the thing to do."