Senator's Bill Baffles The Sexperts

Senate Bill 6003, sponsored by Sen. Adam Smith, has stumped the experts. The bill, known around Olympia as "the son of erotic-music law" (a censorship law declared unconstitutional in 1992), seeks to regulate film, videotape, books, magazines, pamphlets and coin-operated machines.

The legislation also contains a list of "sexual devices" that would have to be kept out of sight of children.

The exhaustive list - and here the plot thickens - includes two mystery gadgets: a penisator and a vibrillator.

No one, including the senator's staff, appears to know what those devices might be. Consulted on the topic, Dan Savage, The Stranger's "Savage Love" columnist, confessed he'd never heard of either one. Nor had any of Savage's favorite adult shops.

Concludes Savage, who feels his sexpertise has been challenged, "It seems Senator Smith has stumped every sex-toy expert in Seattle. Maybe we'll start a support group."

Return visit: Rep. Lisa Brown, a Spokane Democrat, brought her 2-year-old son, Lucas, to the house floor Monday to celebrate his birthday.

Brown, you may recall, is a single mom who last year angered the good ol' boys in the Legislature by bringing Lucas to the floor when she was caught in a child-care bind.

But times do change. On Monday no one objected to Lucas' birthday visit. On the contrary, Brown took Lucas around to meet her colleagues.

Commented one observer, "It was something of a triumphant

return."

Real Scoop: At last week's 34th District Democrats' fund-raiser, former King County Superior Court Judge Ed Heavey was high bidder for a tie tack and cuff links that belonged to the late Sen. Henry "Scoop" Jackson. (The senator's widow, Helen Jackson, donated the set to the auction of political memorabilia.)

After the bidding, Heavey summoned former KING-TV anchor Mike James, now running for the U.S. Senate, to the stage. Heavey handed James the cuff links set, saying, "Hope this brings you good luck."

It's the water: The March issue of Marine Digest reports that carnivorous Russian jellyfish have been discovered lurking in the murky depths of San Francisco Bay along with another latecomer, New Zealand sea slugs.

If these aliens have invaded San Francisco - apparently via ships' ballast water - it's probably only a matter of time before they turn up in Puget Sound.

Justice for all: Latest to announce for the vacant Supreme Court post (Justice Bob Brachtenbach says he's not seeking re-election) is King County Superior Court Judge Faith Enyeart Ireland.

Ireland (formerly known as Judge Enyeart) added "Ireland" to her name last year to commemorate the 75th birthday of her mother, Janice Ireland Enyeart.

The judge, who said she was looking forward to the race, added, "I've saved vacation time so I can get around the state."

Also rumored as prospective candidates - a cast of dozens is expected - are Court of Appeals Judge H. Joseph Coleman and state Sen. Janice Niemi.

Clear day: They must have some mighty tall condos on Queen Anne Hill. Classified recently listed one Queen Anne condo with an "ocean view." The question now is: Atlantic or Pacific?

Jean Godden's column appears Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the Local News section of The Times. Her phone is 464-8300.