A Look At The Sexual Stages In A Woman's Life

Redbook magazine highlights the sexual highs and lows in a woman's life:

Teens-20s: About a year after her first menstrual period, a girl experiences a sexual awakening. A young woman new to sex often finds her enjoyment has less to do with physical pleasures than emotional needs that sex can fulfill: attention, acceptance, feeling attractive. (Men hit their sexual peak in late teens through early 20s.)

Mid to late 20s: Growing more comfortable with her body, a woman gains sexual confidence. Finding an acceptable method of birth control is crucial to her sexual enjoyment. Barrier methods such as diaphragm and condom may be awkward, but the combination birth control pill, frequently prescribed, can cause vaginal dryness, sometimes necessitating over-the-counter lubricants for the first time. The pill also can have a muting effect on sexual desire, according to Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan, director of the human-sexuality program at New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. The hormones contained in the pill change blood proteins so they absorb and bind testosterone, the libido hormone. Result: less testosterone is available to stimulate the sex centers in the brain.

30s: Many women describe this as an especially sexy time. Marriage can lead to new sexual freedom, as can deciding to have a baby. One theory says that each time a woman has sex with a man after abandoning birth control, it increases her testosterone, which in turn stimulates her sex drive. Barrier methods of contraception may block this effect, and hormones in the pill would probably minimize it.

Pregnancy is mixed: usually decreased desire the first trimester, increased the second. Breasts are more sensitive, and many women experience multiple orgasms during intercourse for the first time when they're pregnant. One reason is there's an increase in the blood supply to the pelvic area. Dr. William Masters says the psychological effects of these changes can be long lasting. And after giving birth, a woman has greater blood flow to the pelvic area, which can improve the intensity and rapidity of orgasm. However, post-partum, many new mothers lose desire, as hormone levels plummet and nursing contributes to vaginal dryness and decreased desire.

40s: Many women hit their sexual peak around 40. One explanation may be that as estrogen levels start to drop toward the end of the reproductive years, the testosterone in a woman's body is unopposed, giving an extra jolt to her libido. Increased experience and skill at sex also may be a factor.

But use-it-or-lose-it also becomes an issue: Sex increases blood flow to the vaginal area, which helps keep the vagina elastic and the genital area healthy, according to Lorna Sarrel, co-director of the Human Sexuality Program at Yale University.

50s and beyond: Menopause means vaginal lubrication takes longer and there's a thinning of the labia and vaginal walls. This can make intercourse painful, but over-the-counter lubricants or prescription estrogen creams usually can relieve discomfort. During orgasm, the number and intensity of contractions decrease - probably another result of declining estrogen.

But long after menopause, most women continue to enjoy sex into their 60s, 70s and beyond. It's a myth that women lose interest in sex as they age. Sexual habits tend to remain fairly stable, reports the Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex.

Just say `no'

Time-management expert Merrill Douglass of Marietta, Ga., says people who are overloaded with extra work usually have difficulty saying "no" to others.

Douglass says there are subtler ways to stave off unwanted tasks other than saying the word "no," which can be taken as a sign of hostility or unfriendliness.

Douglass suggests the following:

1. Say maybe. This puts off the issue until later, when you have more resolve or the person making the request forgets.

2. Let someone else say no. Push the responsibility onto a boss or a spouse.

3. Be quiet. People may withdraw a request if they encounter silence.

4. Use scheduling as an excuse.

Safe kids

Very few children under age 8 can deal safely with traffic.

According to the National SAFE KIDS Campaign in Washington, D.C.:

-- Young children believe that if they can see a driver, a driver can see them.

-- Few children can judge how fast traffic is moving.

-- Children don't recognize danger or react to it.

-- A young child's field of vision is one-third that of an adult's.

-- Most small children can't tell from which direction traffic sounds come.

-- Most children think cars can stop instantly.

What can parents do?

Accompany small children across streets and model safe practices (follow street signals and traffic signs, etc.).

(Compiled from newsletters, wire services and periodicals.)

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Compiled by Carey Quan Gelernter.