Post-Feminist Humor Targets Men: Welcome To The Big Bash

Q: A man is dating three women and wants to get married. He has to decide which one to ask. He gives them each $1,000. The first one spends $800 on clothes and puts the other $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 on clothes and puts the other $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he marry?

A: The one with the big breasts.

There are two kinds of people in this world: the ones who are laughing at that joke, and the ones who aren't. The former tend to be women. The latter tend to be men.

Welcome to post-feminist humor. Welcome to male-bashing.

Q: Why are all the dumb-blonde jokes one-liners?

A: So men can understand them.

Nancy Gray is a stand-up comedian. She is also the author of a book called "Stupid Men Jokes" (several of which are sprinkled throughout this article). Unlike most first-time authors, Gray says she had no problem at all snaring the interest of publishers.

"We shopped the manuscript around to only about 10 publishing houses, because it was such a hot topic. We had two or three publishers making us offers," says the 35-year-old comedian from North Carolina.

To produce the 128-page volume, Gray wrote many of the jokes and gathered the rest.

"I called all the female comedians I knew, and I also solicited jokes after my shows. I got a lot of jokes that way, from women in the audience," says Gray, giving anecdotal support to the notion that male-bashing continues to gain in popularity.

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?

A: Gifted.

OK, enough already. Why the anti-male humor?

To Mel Helitzer, humor aficionado and professor at Ohio University's Scripps School of Journalism, the answer is all too obvious - and it's not all that funny, at least not to women.

"You know," muses Helitzer, "psychiatrists listen very carefully to the kind of humor you do during your sessions. What you're joking about is really what's bothering you."

Helitzer, who teaches a course in the uses of humor and has written a book called "Comedy Writing Secrets," contends that joking about topics that actually disturb us is one of the species' better defense mechanisms.

"No one told Waco stories the first day (after the siege-ending fire), but by the next day there were plenty of them. It's the same with women's jokes. Humor is our way of coping with the crazy world around us."

Q: What do you call a man with his hands handcuffed behind his back?

A: Trustworthy.

To no small number of American women, the world lately has looked pretty skewed, if not outright crazy.

"Last year was the so-called Year of the Woman in general, and I think we're finally starting to realize you don't need to be a single professional woman to be a feminist. We got tired of the Anita Hill thing, the Kennedy thing. We were always in the news for the last few years, sure - but we were always the victim," says Gray.

Anita Hill. William Kennedy Smith. Zoe Baird. Kimba Wood. Tailhook. These and other things galvanized women, the comedian says.

"My mother, who's from another generation, would never have even talked about the election. To her, politics are a male thing, but this year, she really got into the election. I sat and watched the Anita Hill hearings with her. Even she is starting to be vocal, which says to me that many of us are tired of watching men run our lives."

Helitzer agrees.

"Things have changed since the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas hearings. There's been a lot of concern, on the part of humorists as well as others, about the harassment of women. So jokes that used to be acceptable office jokes - you know, like the one about the guy who comes home and says to his wife, `I just won $10 million in the lottery, so be packed and ready to go' - nowadays, that joke is no longer acceptable."

A woman calls her husband. "I won the lottery. Sixteen million. Start packing."

"What should I pack? Where are we going?" he replies.

"I don't care," says the wife. "Just be out of the house by the time I get home."

Whoa. What gives here? If it's off-limits for the gander, shouldn't it be the same for the goose?

Helitzer: "What we're seeing now are gender-reversal jokes. If you were a man, you wouldn't laugh at them, but really, the jokes haven't changed. The point of view has. I do a lot of after-dinner speaking, and it's very important for me to know who's in the audience. If it's Knights of Columbus, the lottery joke would work. If it's a group of nurses, I'd reverse the gender. Women are delighted to hear jokes where men are the targets. I mean, absolutely deee-lighted. I'm a little surprised, because here they are talking about equality."

But to Marilyn Motz, a professor of popular culture at Bowling Green State University, this vein of humor is a phenomenon not limited to gender.

"I think there's a big difference between making jokes about people in positions of power versus jokes about those who are powerless. It's not inherent between males and females, it's more a reflection of who in our society is in a position of greater or lesser power. That's true of whatever is considered to be acceptable humor and an acceptable butt of a joke," says Motz, whose specialties include women's studies and folklore.

Wellesley College sociologist Rosanna Hertz sees male-bashing as evidence that men are slipping from their traditional position of social exaltation.

"Men are no longer viewed as sacred, although I'm not sure they ever were, frankly. But they had that aura about them because they brought in the paycheck. But women are now saying, `Hey, this isn't such a gift you're making to us.' These jokes just represent women's views. The one I personally like is when all the comedians make fun of the men who refuse to ask directions."

Q: If a man and woman jumped off a 10-story building at the same time, which one would land first?

A: The woman. The man would get lost.

All right, time out for a reality check. Isn't it just possible that all these anecdotal reports of female rage are off target? Couldn't they merely be the product of a vocal minority of women who are really ticked off?

Ummmmm, not likely - at least, according to The Roper Organization, one of the country's leading poll-takers. Spokesman Brad Fay was asked: Did any recent survey ask specifically about feminist humor?

"No, not exactly. But we did take a poll that did a good job of male-bashing," he joked.

The survey, which Roper has done for Virginia Slims cigarettes every five years, most recently found a considerable jump in "Riot Grrrrl" mentality.

Take these examples of women's responses of agreement to poll statements, and compare the results from 20 years ago. Think of it as then-and-now snapshots of 1970 and 1990.

-- Most men are basically kind, gentle and thoughtful.

Then, 67 percent agreed. Now, 51 percent do.

-- Most men are interested in their work and life outside the home and don't pay much attention to things going on at home.

Then, 39 percent; now 53 percent.

-- Most men look at a woman and immediately think how it would be to go to bed with her.

Then, 41 percent; now 54 percent.

-- Most men are basically selfish and self-centered.

Then, 32 percent; now, 42 percent.

Ouch, huh guys? And to think, the most recent data were gathered even before the Hill-Thomas hearings.

Most girls tend to marry men who are like their dads. This is the real reason mothers cry at weddings.

Just maybe all this ha-ha warfare is in some way inevitable. Lillian Maresch suspects so, anyway.

As co-founder of Generation Insights, a market research firm specializing in baby-boomers, Maresch wonders if male-bashing jokes aren't linked with the psychology of aging.

"We're seeing the middle-aging of America. As the Me Generation turns middle-aged, they've become the Mid-Life Generation. And when they go through a major change, the entire country is transformed. This group redefines the behavior that's appropriate for the culture," Maresch says.

"As people enter midlife, we see men and women psychologically cross paths. Men become more nurturing, more family-oriented. They become more inner-directed. Women, on the other hand, become more aggressive. They become more powerful, more dominant. This may be one of the explanations for what we're seeing."