Alternative Show Offers Protest To Seafair Noise

"Alternative to Loud Boats: No Garnish" An event for those not wanting to participate in the annual Seafair shows of racing hydros and jet planes. ---------------------------------

Beneath the cool shadow of maple trees and the deafening roar of jet planes, they spoke unfettered.

"I am a random. Are you a random? Do you feel lost or afraid of yourself? Well believe dear people you must think randomly, for nothing means something when though of within this theory called whatever."

Roberto Valenza swaggered and swayed, hunched over at times like a drunk. Thick tangled hair hung carelessly in his eyes as he recited a self-penned "religious poem" for the opening of Red Sky Poetry Theatre's ninth "Alternative to Loud Boats: No Garnish" show outside Seattle Central Community College yesterday.

Valenza, founder and producer of the show, came up with the idea to provide an alternative event to Seafair one afternoon while working on some landscaping and listening in annoyance to the noise from the boats in the Seafair races.

Since then, the alternative show, which has featured, music, art, poetry and improvisation in past years, has come to symbolize a sort of protest against the noisy and extravagant Seafair boat races.

This year's show, in honor of long-time Seattle painter Louis Nadalini, drew about 70 people, a smaller crowd than usual, but no shortage of wry wit, double entrendres and political commentary.

Kevin Coyne's "White" poked fun at Rush Limbaugh, Wonder Bread, Twinkies, Aspen, Colorado, Pat Robertson and Lawrence Welk.

C.D. Runyon (who, incidentally, is distantly related to Damon) cautioned women about red lipstick protocol.

"Fire engine red lipstick: absolutely not for virgins, but fine for young newly-wed women who work in highrise executive offices. . .inappropriate for mothers-to-be, mothers with newborns, toddlers, school-age children, but glamorous for married or unmarried fashion models. . .Siren Red for female newscasters and car saleswomen but not suitable for female senators, surgeons or auditors."

And Lisa Choi lamented "too many garage sales in America" while Paul Harding sent a message to the Blue Angels in the sky.

"Damn, Malcolm, Ishmael, Abraham, David, Solomon would be so. . .disappointed. Only now stars brighten and on this America's magazine covers, bellies inflate, wars are sold and breakfasts talk back."

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AUG. 6 -- YouthCare's "Picnic on the Pier" Auction to benefit runaway and homeless youths. 6 p.m., Seattle's Waterfront Park. Silent and live auctions; dessert in the Aquarium ($20; 282-1288).

AUG. 10 -- "Seattle World of Children Award" Gala Cruise to benefit the Audrey Hepburn Memorial Fund. An overnight cruise from Vancouver, B.C. to Seattle (transportation to Vancouver, B.C., provided), dinner, dancing, cocktail party, hosted by Holland America Line (521-8281).

AUG. 13 -- Dinner Dance Cruise aboard the Spirit of Puget Sound, hosted by Girls Incorporated of Puget Sound to benefit their programs for girls ages 7-15. 6:30 p.m. boarding time ($50; 720-2912).

Night and Day appears every Monday on page 2 of the Scene section. The Calendar runs periodically there, too. To offer an item for consideration, send information to Galalist, c/o Scene, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA.