Summer Sipping On The Eastside

Political correctness be damned.

While drinking has fallen from favor as a leisure time activity, there are few better ways to while away a warm summer evening than gazing out on Lake Washington as you slowly sip an icy-cold concoction the color of sunset. The key - in both attitude and intoxicants - is to take it easy.

Whether you favor the traditional waterfront deck, or a more adventurous ambience amid elephant hooves and Elvis impersonators, the following is a thoroughly biased guide to the best the Eastside has to offer in the way of summertime libations:

-- BEST ALL-AROUND

Kirkland Beach Cafe, 1270 Carillon Point, Kirkland.

What an unbeatable warm-weather combination: waterfront deck with windscreen, attractive crowd, knowledgable staff and cool, creative drinks. Best bets are the Deckside Cooler, $3.75, and Rose Petal, $4.25. The former combines Smirnoff vodka, cheap raspberry liqueur (less cloyingly sweet than the expensive stuff), sweet and sour mix and 7-up and leaves you with the sensation of having inhaled good perfume. The latter - Grand Marnier, champagne and cranberry juice - tastes remarkably like a good pinot noir champagne, only more thirst-quenching. A fresh rose petal or two for decoration would have been a nice addition.

-- BEST FLUORESCENT DRINK IF YOU HAVE GOOD EARDRUMS

DaVinci's Flying Pizza and Pasta, 89 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland.

Ah, to be young and hip in Kirkland. DaVinci's is where the

hormone-raging young hopefuls gather on weekends, their voices drowned by ear-splitting rock-n-roll, their bodies clad in enough spandex to outfit the entire U.S. Olympic swim team.

DaVinci's has a separate, ever-so-slightly more sedate room for weekend karaoke.

The host, wearing torn Levis with holes big enough to drive a truck through, encouraged patrons to come on stage by saying, "You can be a complete singing sensation or a dick in front of all your friends!"

Regulars soothe their strained vocal chords with a Kiwi-rita: tequila, triple sec and kiwi flavoring blended with crushed ice.

This drink is so fluorescent, it could light your way across Lake Washington in the fog, and comes adorned with matching bright green straws. At $3.93, it's ample for two. While the drink is a pleasant twist on the traditional margarita, bartenders would do well to substitute fresh kiwis, which are in season, inexpensive and a subtler shade of green. Save the neon for lighting.

-- BEST CONCOCTION FOR WATCHING A SHAKY ELVIS IMPERSONATION

Hunan Chef, 425 116th Ave. N.E., Bellevue.

Can this be Bellevue? The Hunan Chef, a dark, smoky pick-up spot for the over-40 polyester crowd, looks like it was plucked from the heart of Lynnwood, and answers the question, "Where do people who live in trailer parks go on the weekend?"

Ladies, if you like to cut a rug and don't mind a partner whose head sports a bad one, there are single men aplenty who will invite you to the dance floor. Speaking of rugs, there's a particularly large one fashioned after the Elvis stamp adorning the wall.

Speaking of Elvis, Paul, the owner, is a jovial man who sings along with the band for the first song of each set.

Imagine an Asian Elvis with a cowboy hat and not a whole lot of voice singing "Your Cheatin' Heart."

Our waitress recommended an Electric Ice Tea: tequila, rum, gin, Coke and sweet'n'sour mix. The $6 effect was lemonade with a bite. Quite pleasing.

A regular explained that the bar won't serve any customer more than two of these particular drinks because of their effect.

He looked as if he'd had his limit.

-- BEST BOOZE FOR THE BUCK FOR FANS OF MARLIN PERKINS' WILD KINGDOM

Jungle Jim's, Bellevue Square, Bellevue.

A cross between Denny's and Trader Vic's, this psychedelic Wild Kingdom has an astonishingly complete summer drink menu - decorated, no less, with alligators and kissing turtles - at bargain-basement prices.

There might not be many bars where patrons feel comfortable sipping what appears to be a milkshake on steroids, but when it is plopped on turqoise-colored formica, or when you are atop an elephant hoof barstool or gazing at a life-size giraffe replica protruding from the wall, it's hard to feel conspicuous about your own personal drink selection.

This is also one of the few Eastside establishments that tops tropical drinks with a cute little umbrella.

There are two winners: First, the Tarantula, which sneaks up and bites you. Three-quarter shots of rum, tequila, vodka and gin are sweetened with sweet'n'sour mix, Sprite, pineapple juice, triple sec and grenadine.

The 13-ounce drink was mild, almost watery, as if ice had been allowed to melt too long, but rest assured, this spider left its venom.

The drink costs $3.97, except for Tarantula Tuesdays, when it goes for $2.77 after 5 p.m.

Second, there's the Ic'd cream sandwich, a 13-ounce dieter's nightmare of crushed oreo cookies, vanilla ice cream, dark creme de cocao and whipped cream. Share one with a friend. A shot of rum might tone down the sweetness, but this drink is hard to beat for sheer caloric depravity.

-- BEST QUINTESSENTIAL BELLEVUE DRINK

Spazzo, 10655 N.E. Fourth St., Bellevue.

Tasteful, but not wildly innovative. Smooth, but not oily. Understated, unadorned, never straying too far from the norms of convention.

We could be describing Bellevue or half the population that lives here. But this is the Bellini, a blended drink served at Spazzo, a newish, popular Eastside hang-out featuring Mediterranean cuisine. The small bar is well situated for people-watching. The restaurant has a partial view of Lake Washington and an even better one of Bellevue Square.

Pastel of color and pleasing to the taste buds, the $3.25 Bellini combines vodka, peach schnapps, fresh orange juice, champagne and canned peaches. (Let's hope Spazzo switches to fresh peaches as they come into season).

-- BEST NON-ALCOHOLIC VERSION

Anthony's Homeport, Homeport Marina, Kirkland.

Some things are conspicuous by their absence, and the summer drink menu at Anthony's in Kirkland is one of them.

Here you have the ideal ambience for summer sipping: waves gently lapping against the deck, a glassed in, second-story bar overlooking Lake Washington and an attractive after-work crowd eager to loosen its collective tie and unwind. Yet our waitress was unable to suggest anything remotely original to drink. The Planter's Punch we eventually wound up with was the bartender's first attempt, and sadly overladen with orange juice.

Anthony's does, however, make an excellent non-alcoholic refresher, the iced Raspberry Mocha. Light and not too sweet, this was a delicate blend of milk, espresso, Ghirardelli chocolate, and raspberry syrup for $2.50.

But the management should really think about expanding its alcoholic repertoire.