`Hot Shots! Part Deux' Hits The Mark Only Part Of The Time

XX "Hot Shots! Part Deux," with Charlie Sheen, Valeria Golina, Lloyd Bridges, Richard Crenna, Brenda Bakke and Miguel Ferrer. Directed by Jim Abrahams, from a screenplay by Abrahams and Pat Proft. Alderwood, Aurora Village, Cinerama, Crossroads, Everett 9, Factoria, Kent, Oak Tree, Renton Village, Seatac Mall, Snohomish, Totem Lake, Valley Drive-in. "PG-13" - Parental guidance strongly suggested because of mock violence, mild profanity.

After you've finished watching "Hot Shots! Part Deux," a passable sequel to 1991's spoof of "Top Gun"-type movies, you will have learned the following:

Saddam Hussein wears bikini tops while sunbathing. He's got camel milk and "Falafel Helper" in his 'fridge. The president of the United States' skull is made of aluminum siding. His lower intestine was removed and replaced with yards of hemp, resulting in troublesome digestion and a lethal case of flatulence.

This time out, the "Hot Shots!" team of "Airplane" and "Naked Gun" veterans Jim Abrahams and Pat Proft aim their comedy bazookas at "Rambo" movies and yesterday's headlines, once again playing it straight for belly laughs. With "No Originality!" as their working motto, they gleefully steal and pillage every cliche that formula action movies have taken seriously for years.

The problem is that our familiarity with this laundry list of movie memories is so firmly entrenched that the gags must consistently pay off to keep us interested. "Hot Shots! Part Deux" certainly starts with a high laugh count, and its TV ad campaign has been a genuine hoot, but the giggle quotient quickly flies out the window.

The film keeps you smiling for 90 minutes, but our expectations for these comedies have perhaps grown impossibly high. Abrahams and Proft have gotten a bit lazy this time, sticking so close to their targets that they've forgotten to do some wild shooting of their own.

When they do hit their marks, the results are as irreverently absurd as ever. In the Rambo role, Charlie Sheen is again hilariously stoical (it would be fun to see his outtakes) as Topper Harley, the veteran war hero who is lured away from a Buddhist monastery by a gorgeous CIA agent (Brenda Bakke) who assigns him to retrieve American hostages left over from Desert Storm.

"You're the best of what's left," says the shapely agent to Topper, whose main mission is to liberate his former commander (Richard Crenna, gamely sending up his own "serious" role in the Rambo films). On the strategy map, the hostage compound is located - heh heh - between Iraq and "a hard place."

In the Middle East, Topper is reunited with Ramada (Valeria Golino), the love of his life whose maiden name, like that of the Japanese Prime Minister's wife, is "Rodham." (Must be some kind of trend.) To Topper's great chagrin, she tells him she's married, and her husband (British funnyman Rowan Atkinson) is one of the hostages Topper was sent to rescue.

Along the way, a partial list of the movies lampooned includes "Lady and the Tramp," "No Way Out," "Basic Instinct," Terminator 2," `"asablanca" and a choice bit of deja vu from `"pocalypse Now," complete with a dandy cameo from that film's star, Charlie Sheen's dad Martin.

As usual, the majority of gags are strictly hit or miss, but they don't stop until the movie's completely over, so here's a fair warning: If you're one of the few who still doesn't know secret of "The Crying Game," don't watch the "Part Deux" end credits.

Yep. They've taken the liberty of clueing you in.