Even Mottoes Can Be Politically Incorrect

May 4, 1993

John Leo

Universal Press Syndicate

PREOCCUPIED with pressing personal matters, most of us are totally unaware that the state of Maryland is undergoing a profound motto crisis.

The problem is that the state motto, "Fatti maschii, parole femine," is sexist. It's an archaic Italian phrase from the crest of the Calverts, Maryland's founding family, and it translates as "Manly deeds, womanly words."

Gregory Stiverson, the assistant state archivist, tried gamely to put the best face on things. He said the Calverts were just making the point that "it's better to do things than to sit there mouthing off." Maybe so, but the motto says men act, while women sit around and yammer.

That may have been fine when the motto was adopted in 1648, but nowadays it's controversial. For a month or more, the state Legislature squirmed and scratched its collective head about what to do.

It should have consulted my esteemed brother, Peter Leo, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist and all-around expert on these matters. He recommends a unisex version: "All of us, men and women alike, do a lot of stuff and then talk about it." If that won't do, he says Maryland should adopt the essence of a song Mr. Rogers uses on his children's TV show: Men are fancy on the outside; women are fancy on the inside.

On the other hand, my esteemed spouse, Jacqueline Leo, the hard-charging executive, says Maryland should definitely keep its motto no matter what anyone thinks, but translate it as, "Men take

out the garbage; women tell them to do it."

My own version is an even more inspiring one: "Women and men - two great genders! Talk and action - two great things!" This can fairly be called both rousing and inclusive, though it does in fact leave scant room for unforeseen new genders doing unforeseen great things. Still, it is better than "Maryland - sexist since 1648; wanna make something of it?"

Writing in The Washington Post, Neil Genzlinger says the mind-set that produced "Fatti maschii, parole femine," might just as well have come up with "Forza brutale, gambe stupende" (Brute force, great legs). Come to think of it, that could be the motto of the Tailhook Association, placed directly under the official seal (two crotch-grabbers poised on a field of empty beer bottles).

The Post had the wit to run a contest for a new Maryland motto. The winner was "Maryland: Wait, we can explain . . ." Other entries included "Maryland: home of its residents" and "Maryland: It looks better in the dark."

That last entry reminds me of an unkind remark made by a West Coast author about New Jersey. Driving up the Jersey Turnpike at night past all the fiery refineries, he remarked that "New Jersey looks like the back of an old radio." (Possible state slogan: "Come to Jersey - live in an old radio.")

In the late '70s, Jersey came up with a promotional slogan, "New Jersey's Got It!" As a proud native of the Garden State, I naturally felt that this slogan was about as creative as we Jerseyites can expect to get. But I still thought it could be improved. How about, "New Jersey's got it! But relax, it's not communicable." Or perhaps: "New Jersey - where Jimmy Hoffa is buried." (Variation: "Come to Jersey - you'll never leave. Hoffa didn't.")

Last year Philadelphia held a contest for an official city slogan. The winner put everyone to sleep: "Welcome to Philadelphia - enjoy our past and experience our future." (And try to ignore our present.) In The Philadelphia Inquirer, staff writer Dan Meyers suggested a catchier slogan: "Welcome to Philadelphia - hey, that's my car!"

Actually, some of the real state mottoes are almost as weird as that. Connecticut's is "He who transplanted still sustains"; New Mexico's is "It grows as it goes"; and Michigan's is "If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look around you." (Jersey version: "You want big-time oil refinery living? - You got it!")

The state of Washington uses an Indian term as its motto - Al-Ki ("by and by"). Apparently the early settlers called Seattle "New York Al-Ki," meaning that the tiny community would one day be a great city. Since "by and by" seems to mean later, eventually, or we'll get around to it, this logically should be the motto of Washington, D.C., not Washington the state. Just imagine thousands of alert capital bureaucrats doing their level best every day to live up to the motto "by and by."

In Maryland, the Italian consul in Baltimore offered legislators a way out. If "interpreted logically," he said, and "in the perspective of 20th-century language," the motto could be translated as "Delicate words, resolute action." In plain English, the wise consul seemed to be saying, why don't you solve the problem by mistranslating the text? Good idea.

So right now it looks as though Maryland might settle for the English version "Strong deeds, gentle words." Then again, maybe it should be "Strong words, mild action." Whatever. The moral is, "If you seek a pleasant mistranslation, look around you. By and by, after 345 years, you'll get it." John Leo's column appears Tuesday on editorial pages of The Times.