The Worst Cliche? Throw In The Towel - It Remains To Be Seen

Question: Why do so many writers stick with cliches?

Answer: They're lazy. They lack the imagination to create fresh phrases, so they fall back on stale ones.

Question: Would you list a few stale ones?

Answer: Frances Peters of Franklin, N.C., has provided a basic list. It includes:

Pleased as Punch, take the edge off, ace in the hole, ace up his sleeve, sowing his wild oats, her face would stop a clock, blind as a bat, caught with his pants down, put his foot in his mouth, has a yellow streak, chickens come home to roost, don't cry over spilt milk.

Also: at the drop of a hat, well-heeled, chip off the old block, two peas in a pod, pig in a poke, cat got his tongue, long in the tooth, nuttier than a fruitcake, skating on thin ice, eating humble pie, throwing in the towel.

Also: like a ton of bricks, sharp as a tack, in the catbird seat, put out his lights, her crowning glory, snug as a bug in a rug, it's for the birds, running on empty, hitting the nail on the head, hitting the books, cooking the books, lowering the boom, going down the tubes, having an ax to grind, and turning over a new leaf.

Peters' list is only the tip of an iceberg. It barely scratches the surface. She did not mention the item that is selling like hotcakes. She did not give us a bottom line. At this point in time her list will do for starters, but you can bet your bottom dollar that she left out the most irritating of all cliches, which is:

IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN.

Is there a more stupid phrase in the English language? None comes to mind. It is portentous. It is banal. It pretends to be a sage and measured conclusion. It is in fact silly. One moment's reflection will tell us that everything under moon or sun, from this split second until the end of time, "remains to be seen."

The phrase crops up everywhere. It appeared in a concurring opinion by Justice Clarence Thomas in June: "The consequences for defendants of our decision remain to be seen." That's right, Mr. Justice, that's right.

Newsweek gave us an incisive observation in November: "It remains to be seen which of his many good intentions Clinton plans to move on first." What a novel thought!

USA Today offered a piece of profound wisdom in December: "It remains to be seen if Clinton's appetite for mingling with the public remains strong should his popularity decline." What a stunning conclusion!

The Wall Street Journal fell from grace in February. You have to stand in awe of editorial writing at this level: "Whether the Democrats in Congress are universally operating out of such deep reservoirs of antipathy for every jot and tittle of the recent economic tradition remains to be seen." How about that! Every jot? And every tittle, too!

The Journal further informed us in March: "The fall of the Soviet empire is certainly a major event, although its full significance remains to be seen." Now that's the living truth!

The New York Times recently carried a piece on a new magazine, Out, aimed at homosexual men. The publisher said the magazine is ready to go into high-gear operation. The Times's media correspondent thought it over, pondered at length, finally reached a conclusion: "That," he said, "remains to be seen."

What an insight! And what about "insight"? An advertising agency in Denver boasts that it has brought "profitable new insights to clients." A writer for the Rocky Mountain News says that women are bringing "intuitive insights" into the workplace.

The Berkeley Wellness Letter offers "healthy insights" 12 times a year. A women's magazine recommends a self-awareness exercise that will "provide insights into the way you think . . ."

Bombshell! What about dear old "bombshell"? Headline in the Portland Oregonian: "Japanese prosecutors drop bombshell in hush-money scandal." People magazine says a statement from Queen Elizabeth "hit the papers with the force of a bombshell." Tell us, pray, what is "the force of a bombshell?" The bombshell is what holds the bomb. The bomb goes boom, the shell goes thud.

Repent! All of us who fall into cliches must repent. We must kick the habit. We must return to the straight and narrow path. Cliches? Let us avoid them, ah, let us avoid them like the plague.

(Copyright, 1993, Universal Press Syndicate) The Writer's Art by James J. Kilpatrick appears Sunday in the Scene section.