What's Funnier Than A Room Full Of Lawyers?

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? That's a question from Seattle attorney Joel Gilman, who has been practicing comedy, as well as law, for several years.

Gilman recently sent out copies of an official-looking document, a motion summoning "every lawyer, judge, law student or retired lawyer who ever wanted to be a stand-up comedian."

Gilman is trying to persuade legal jokesters to appear in a contest at the Comedy Underground in mid-June to show why they "may rightfully claim the funniest-lawyer title."

OK, Joel, what does looks good on a lawyer? He says, "A Doberman pinscher."

FOR A SONG: If you're ever in a tight spot, pull out your trumpet. That's the advice of Seattle bandleader Fred Radke. Radke and three pals were in central Mexico on their annual bird-hunting trip.

Their car was pulled over. It was the police, who were not amused at finding rifles in the car. At that point, Radke pulled out the trumpet he lugged along. He belted out a favorite bullfight song, "La Virgen de la Macarena." The police, all smiles, let the foursome go.

SPAM POSTSCRIPT: Down at Doc Maynard's, they've been serving Spam sandwiches (Spam, Wonder Bread, mayo and yellow mustard). It was a stunt to advertise last Saturday's Spam Carving Contest. But, surprisingly, customers have ordered dozens.

And speaking of Spam carving: Despite freezing rain, the outdoor event drew press from as far away as Phoenix. People magazine was there and so was Springfield, Mo., resident Judy Kistler. She timed a visit to Seattleite Miriam Marcus-Smith so the two of them could compete.

NOMENCLATURE: Six-year-old Toby Coughlin Bogue came home from his school, Villa Academy, with some paperwork for his mom, Kerry Coughlin, to fill out. When they came to the space for Toby's baptismal name, Kerry explained that, since they're not Catholic, Toby doesn't have a baptismal name.

Kerry asked, "If you had a baptismal name, what would you like it to be?" Toby barely hesitated. He said, "Hallowed."

WORK OUT: Crews have completed work on the gym at Microsoft pioneer Paul Allen's megahouse on Mercer Island.

But Allen's gym is not just a playground for high-tech tycoons. It's open two nights a week to employees of an Allen company, Asymetrix Corp. One night is for basketball and swimming; the other, for volleyball and swimming.

SAY WHAT? KOMO-TV news anchor Kerry Brock can be excused for a minor bobble, made during President Clinton's stop-off in Everett Monday. (Brock no doubt is busy, getting ready to move to Nashville with her husband and co-anchor, John Siegenthaler, after Sunday's broadcast.)

Whatever the reason, Brock slipped when introducing Washington's 6th District congressman. He came off as Mayor Norm Dicks.

SIGN IN: The banner at the 25th Avenue Northeast entrance to University Village shopping center reads: "Celebate Spring." Does that qualify as an oxymoron?