Mariners' New Logo Has Some Bad Points

East is East and West is West, unless you're a Seattle Mariner.

The Mariners' new uniforms have a new logo emblazoned across the sleeve. Chief design element is a compass rose, the directional sign used on charts and maps.

The rose typically is drawn with the needle pointing north and south. But not on the Mariners' logo. The M's compass points east and west.

Mariners spokesman Dave Aust explains the logo was developed by Major League Baseball Properties in New York City. Working with the MLBP were Mariners' vice president Stuart Layne and Kevin Martinez. John Ellis, Mariners' boss, also approved the design.

"The reason the compass rose was turned was so you can read the words `Seattle' and `Mariners' clearly. It was a design consideration," Aust said.

Maybe. But to some in the peanut gallery, the symbolism seems skewed. The Mariners appear headed off in the wrong direction. By design.

HEADLINE NEWS: Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, a major ($12 million) contributor to the University of Washington, was on campus last week, speaking at a program marking the Computer Science Department's 25th anniversary.

Topping the UW Daily's account of Gates' speech was a dummy headline, one never intended for publication. Alas. The headline showed up in all editions. It read: "Gates admits to being big, geeky corporate dough-ball."

PHANTOM LIVES: Life imitated art at last Tuesday's performance of "The Phantom of the Opera." During the first act at the Fifth Avenue Theater, the trick chandelier failed to rise to the ceiling. An apparent electrical problem stalled the show for nearly 10 minutes.

During the second act, a piece of scenery fell. Mark Phillips, who was in the audience, comments, "It was difficult to tell the real from the fake." Is there a Phantom of the Fifth Avenue?

COFFEE BREAKS: Last year, 92 food establishments were closed down in King County. What's amazing is that half the closures involved espresso and other mobile vendors.

King County health inspector Phillip Wyman says, "The actual health hazard is real low. But there are so many of them (nearly 400 in the county) that they complain about each other - the guy across the street doesn't have a permit, or doesn't have a sink, or whatever. I wish we didn't have to do them."

COLOR CODED: Just out is the Marine Digest's annual tugboat directory. The magazine reports that one tug operator joked that he paints his tugs ugly, bright colors "so in case they sink we can find them."

TEE TIME: In Portland, street vendors are selling white T-shirts with red handprints on the chest. The message: "Packwood was here."

Jean Godden's column appears Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the Northwest section of The Times. Her phone is 464-8300.