Seen, Heard, Said

THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE: Our wire service had the nerve recently to tell you, through the medium of this column, that Bruce Willis had stormed angrily out of the house in which he lives with his wife, Demi Moore. Now the aforementioned news agency feels obliged to report that Demi has characterized the tale as a "baldfaced lie." Nor is this all.

MORE ON MOORE: To compassionate inquiries as to the true state of her union with Bruce, Demi says only: "No comment." Then, apparently unable to restrain herself, she adds: "I'm not feeding into any more controversy." This is an admirable resolution, but we can't help wondering if she has taken into account the manifest unpredictability of life en famille.

FURTHERMOORE: "Demi Moore parent Virginia Guynes has a nude spread coming up in the issue of High Society mag out next month." When you say "parent," wire service, do you mean she's Demi's mom? "The two don't get on at all well." We're sorry to hear that, but it hardly answers our question. Hello? Are the power lines down again?