Psychics Provide Daze Of Predictions

Like Guy Lombardo and the ball in Times Square, tabloid psychic predictions are a New Year's tradition. But getting the forecasters to agree on what's in store for the likes of Madonna, Oprah and Dolly is another thing entirely.

Here's a round-up of conflicting predictions by some of the country's top psychics on perennial tabloid subjects.

-- Madonna: Globe's Mystic Meg predicts the material girl will remarry ex-husband Sean Penn after a health scare brings them close again and will transform herself into "the new Julie Andrews of the film world." Meg also warns that because the pop star's displays of sexuality create danger, that she should avoid Detroit in early '93.

Los Angeles psychic Florence Vaty predicts in the National Enquirer, on the other hand, that Madonna will be arrested in Utah and charged with indecent exposure for skiing naked.

-- Whitney Houston: Meg says Mrs. Bobby Brown needs to be very cautious around a large piece of sculpture delivered to her home. On top of this, says Meg, "The Bodyguard" star will also record a song dedicated to her soon-to-be-born baby that will become the all-time best-selling song worldwide.

In the Enquirer, though, California seer Judy Hevenly predicts Houston will lose her voice in a freak skiing accident and abandon singing to become a dancer.

-- Dolly Parton: Meg predicts Dolly Parton will become closer to husband, Carl, after they successfully battle a health problem

together. She also believes Parton should start a TV show called "Secrets." Each week, says Meg, the singer will reveal a secret of her own while encouraging others to reveal theirs.

Miami psychic Micki Dahne also forecasts a medical emergency for Parton in the Enquirer, but offers more details. She says Parton will undergo emergency surgery for a potentially fatal ailment that's discovered when she visits a doctor for repairs of a ruptured breast implant and will pull through.

-- Arsenio Hall: According to Meg, the talk show host will find "love on a plate" when a movie star in disguise serves him a vegetarian meal and turns out to be his dream love.

But Massachusetts psychic Barbara Donchess says in the Enquirer that Arsenio will elope with former flame Paula Abdul after the pop star dumps husband Emilio Estevez. The newlyweds, she adds, will then adopt six orphans from Somalia.

-- Fergie: Meg says the rowdy royal will learn she suffers from a chemical imbalance that causes her wild behavior. A simple drug regimen heals her and a last-minute appeal sees her reunited with Prince Andrew.

New York psychic John Monti's forecast for Fergie in the Enquirer is less bright. He predicts she'll pose naked for Playboy to get back at her royal in-laws. Afterward, says Monti, she'll be swamped with offers to do sexy movies in America.

-- Bill Cosby: Meg predicts the Cos will team up with Janet Jackson in a top-rated TV show.

Los Angeles psychic Maria Graciette warns, on the other hand, that Cosby will find himself in a food fight with the Food and Drug Administration after he markets a brand of hot sauce that the FDA claims causes severe stomach cramps.

-- La Toya Jackson: According to Meg, Jackson will record a country duet with sister Janet that will become a surprise hit.

But Florida seer Leah Lusher believes Jackson will be wooed by an Arabian prince. She'll flee his Mideast palace, though, after she discovers she'll have to share her sheik with three other women.

No story about predictions is complete, though, without a mention of The King. In an article about predictions by Bible historians who have studied the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Sun reports that Elvis' grave will be dug up and found to be empty.

The prediction, according to the tabloid, is based on a passage in the scrolls that reads: "A great hue and cry shall erupt the world over when the tomb of a beloved minstrel shall be found barren."

Reports that he'll turn up in the stamp line at the Kalamazoo post office are still unsubstantiated.