Is Spanking Necessary? -- How Does A Parent Decide? These Questions Were Posed By Syndicated Columnist And Psychologist John Rosemond Recently. He Believes Spankings Are A Lousy Form Of Discipline, But They Are Simply ''A Dramatic Form Of Nonverbal Communication.'' Some Responses:

PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE

I have a 13-year-old daughter whom I have never struck and have no intention of ever striking.

I have taught in public schools for 28 years and encountered many children who were permanently emotionally scarred as a result of spankings, which I consider physical violence.

The risk of psychological damage to a child far outweighs any possible positive result from hitting a child.

Sweden recently passed legislation making it illegal for a parent to strike a child. I would like to see the same in the U.S.

- Ed Lockett, Seattle

NEVER AS A FIRST RESORT

Being a parent of twin 5-year-old boys and a 7-year-old girl, I do not believe in spanking as a first resort. Removing the child from the conflict; sending the child to another room, giving extra chores or denying privileges works at our house. I try to avoid disciplining in public.

A short or long lecture in the car (before putting the key in the ignition) helps.

As a last resort, a quick spank works simply because it is a last resort.

- Louise Smith, Seattle

SPANKING IS VIOLENCE!

My God, spanking is violence!

If you spank a child, you're teaching that child that violence is what should happen when something goes wrong.

Why do you think we have war in this world? You spank your child and the next time a little child does something wrong to him, he hits. He's been taught that hitting and violence is the way to solve problems and it is not.

John Rosemond is ridiculous and we are just getting tired of his columns. I want him out of the paper. I want a lot of other experts to decry what he put in the paper, it was just ridiculous. - Susan Knell, Bainbridge Island

NO RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

I agree with John Rosemond, I don't believe in spankings. It's not a religious experience. But if the children are out of line and you need their attention, sometimes you have to do it. - Karen Kelley, Des Moines

ALTERNATIVE APPROACH

I suggest a book called "Without Spanking or Spoiling" by Elizabeth Crary as an alternative perspective to John Rosemond. - Wendy Jans, Seattle

SOMETIMES NEEDED

We are in our young 40s. We have an 8-year-old girl, 5-year-old boy and a 1-year-old boy. We believe very much in what John Rosemond said, not as an end into itself, but to spank when you need to get attention.

We are not religious zealots, we're politically liberal, perhaps even Democrats. We are active in the PTA and we very much believe that some children, particularly little boys ages 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, sometimes need a spanking to get their attention. - Dennis and Martha Bruce, Seattle

NO BEDROOM BANISHING

I do believe in spanking to the extent that it was written about, as an attention getter rather than abusive. The only thing I don't believe Mr. Rosemond is an expert in, or a psychologist should know better, is when you discipline a child to use a bedroom as a detention center.

My idea has always been when a child goes to the bedroom it's to sleep and have a good rest and not as a place of detention.

I can't believe that a man of his position and knowledge would suggest you send your child to his own bedroom, his own sanctuary, as if it were a detention place. If he's that smart, he should have another alternative. I don't think it is good for the child. - Joe Brennan, Seattle

EMPOWER CHILDREN

I'm a family educator. I believe punishment is using outside force, discipline is teaching internal controls. I've never seen spanking teach a child control mechanisms. Spanking teaches a child that at the point of conflict of two individuals' wills, "I have a right to hurt you."

We've got too many people trained in violence today. We've got to cut down on child and spouse abuse.

So, let's do away with spanking. The better form of discipline is helping children to find a way of getting control of themselves and that means consequences; that means empowering children that they can take control. - Bob Bradbury, Seattle

STILL DID BAD THINGS

I do not believe in spanking. We were spanked a lot as children and I feel in our situation it didn't work. We still did bad things. We just did them more sneakily. As we've grown up and become adults, we've learned how not to deal with our parents because they still have that fighting element that we had as children.

I have a 20-month-old and time-outs work as discipline for us. But most of the time it's diversion that works. Just simply take him away.

At this age he's too young to really know what he's doing that would make me that upset, anyway. - Colleen Purrier, Redmond

YES, BUT WITH GROUND RULES

I've spanked under certain circumstances: deliberate disobedience or if children's behavior would result in danger to themselves or others.

I raised 10 children to loving, responsible adulthood. My "rule of thumb" was one swat on the buttocks for each year of age.

I spanked only one child beyond age 8, as I found other non-violent forms of sanctions to be more effective.

Sometimes it is necessary to spank, but NEVER when you are angry!

Some children never need to be spanked. Just a look, a word or sitting on a chair is all that's needed. - Margaret J. Beck, Seattle

CHILD'S PERSPECTIVE

Spank in anger?

Look at it from a child's perspective:

Adults say "Use my words," when I'm mad or don't like what someone else does. But as an adult, mommy or daddy, if you don't like what I did you just hit me first and explain later?

I hope more people every day will reevaluate how they treat their children. I hope they will treat their kids the same way they would want them to treat their parents or their peers. Children repeat their parents' behavior all of their lives.

Time-out works. Consistency is the answer. Whatever you choose - besides spanking, because that's hitting - it will work, if you are consistent.

- Kit Schorzman, Edmonds