Screw In Light Bulb, Touch Pearls: It's Time To Catch The Right Wave

Yes, it's back: Scene's Guide to Tasteful Parade Waves.

It was a big hit last year. It'll be bigger this year.

We saw you out there by the tens of thousands last year, guide in hand, gesticulating in the direction of gesticulators on floats and in cars and on horseback at Seattle's big Seafair Torchlight parade. And we saw those of you who didn't know what the heck was going on desperately wanting to be part of the pack.

Well, here's your chance.

Following is a semi-authoritative guide. Cut it out. Take it with you. The Torchlight parade starts at 7:30 p.m. Friday downtown:

-- The classic: Elbow, elbow, hand, hand, hand. Popular with beauty queens, this wave works for both expansive and conservative personalities.

To execute: Bend arm at the elbow with the forearm upright, palm forward and fingers slightly bent. Move the elbow outward and inward, then do the same three times with the hand.

-- Queen's wave I. Often employed by Queen Elizabeth, this is the most stately of all waves and requires the least output of energy.

To execute: Bend arm at elbow with forearm upright, palm forward and fingers nearly straight. With elbow stationary, move arm a half-inch to the right and then to the left in a barely perceptible motion. Any smile should be slight.

-- Queen's wave II: Screw in the light bulb, touch the pearls. Another favorite of the queen, this wave is somewhat more complex than those above but has the advantage of conveying two messages: first, a greeting, then a sense of being touched by the crowd's adulation.

To execute: Bend arm at the elbow with forearm upright and fingers bent as if holding a light bulb; twist hand outward as if screwing in the bulb, then touch fingertips to one's pearl necklace. If not wearing pearls, touching the upper chest will suffice.

-- Queen's wave II, Miss Americanized version: Screw in the light bulb, touch the pearls, wipe the tear from the eye. This wave conveys even greater emotional reaction. To execute, perform as above and complete by wiping tear from the eye.

-- Queen's wave III (the queen has to wave a lot): This is the most technically advanced wave, although it is often tossed off with ease by experts. It's a three-level wave, starting at slightly above head height.

To execute: Raise hand to crown level and twist outward as in the wave above, then drop to mouth level and twist, then to chest level and twist, while mouthing silently and alliteratively (at the appropriate levels), "tiara, teeth. . . er, chest." The order can be reversed, moving upward.

-- The finger flap: A favorite of outgoing Seafair Queen Alexandra Quade. She catches the eye of individuals, especially kids, while performing this wave, and says it's most likely to get a wave back.

To execute: Extend raised arm with palm forward and flap fingers - or whole hand, from the wrist - up and down, preferably toward someone whose eye you've caught.

Should you spot other wave styles in Friday's parade, you may wish to take careful note and add them to your repertoire.

(Reporter Judith Blake is the staff expert who put together this guide.)