Now, Back At The Ranch . . . -- Hee-Haw! Crystal Lassos Laughs In `City Slickers'

XXX "City Slickers," with Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern, Bruno Kirby, Jack Palance, Helen Slater, Patricia Wettig. Directed by Ron Underwood, from a script by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel. Aurora Village, Crossroads, Everett Mall, Factoria, Grand Cinemas Alderwood, Kent, Kirkland Parkplace, Lewis & Clark, Oak Tree, Seatac North, Uptown, Valley drive-in. "PG-13" - Parental guidance advised, due to language. ------------------------------------------------------------ The first of this season's would-be money machines that works pretty well on its own terms, "City Slickers" is also the funniest Billy Crystal vehicle to date. It should be hanging on at theaters all summer and into the fall.

Crystal dreamed up the story himself, and the veteran writing team of Babaloo Mandel and Lowell Ganz ("Splash," "Parenthood," "Night Shift") has created a role for him that gives him a chance to expand his range as a leading man - while tossing off enough clever one-liners to compete with his Oscar show appearances.

Crystal plays a New York radio ad salesman who's approaching a midlife crisis. "Basically I sell air," he tells a classroom of kids, including his son, who is embarrassed that Dad isn't a submarine commander. Dad's embarrassed too; he thinks he's reached the point where he'll never accomplish anything else with his life.

He's feeling so dispirited and restless that his wife (Patricia Wettig) threatens to cancel his 39th-birthday party. When his similarly stressed-out friends (Daniel Stern, Bruno Kirby) want to go to a Southwestern dude ranch that includes a cattle drive as part of its vacation package, she doesn't stand in their way.

"Go and find your smile," she tells him.

Looking a bit like the Village People, the trio learn to chew and spit tobacco, ride horses, ford rivers, birth a calf and challenge a couple of tough cowboys who harass the one female on the drive (Helen Slater). The laconic trail boss (Jack Palance) is a bit of a philosopher, and he gets Crystal thinking about priorities, mortality and the key to happiness.

At this point, Mandel and Ganz and director Ron Underwood ("Tremors") begin to take their theme seriously, though not seriously enough. The rest of the movie is like a Disneyland version of "Deliverance" that doesn't really mean to scare you or confront you. It still wants to be heartwarming and ingratiating. It's basically a no-risk entertainment, and Marc Shaiman's score starts shoveling sentiment toward the end.

If you can take it for what it is, however, "City Slickers" does deliver the goods, especially during its sprightly first half. Mandel and Ganz are at their best creating comic situations that ring true: a wake-up birthday call from the hero's doting mother; a party-crashing appearance by a cast-off pregnant girlfriend; a cattle-spooking episode with a coffee grinder; a rather forlorn attempt to re-create the "yee-hah scene" from "Red River" as the boys start out on their cattle drive.

Palance, introduced in dark silhouette, is as distinctive a presence as he was in "Shane" nearly four decades ago. He's basically a good guy this time, but he's so foreign to these city kids that they're not sure at first. The scene in which Crystal plays harmonica and Palance sings "Tumbling Tumbleweeds" is a nice East-meets-Southwest touch that still manages to keep a respectful distance between the two ("You know any show tunes?" asks Crystal).

What makes the movie's second half palatable is the easy camaraderie that develops among Crystal, Stern and Kirby (a longtime supporting actor getting his meatiest role to date).

When they're sharing memories about their all-time best and worst days, or they're suddenly confronted with the ultimate destination of the herd ("These cows trusted us," cries Crystal, as if he didn't know), you don't mind the sermonizing.