The Byrdwell Family

-- The Byrdwell family: Frank Byrdwell Jr., 53, assistant registrar at the University of Washington, and assistant pastor in charge of music and education at Mount Zion Baptist Church; Phyllis Byrdwell, 48, music education teacher at Lakeside Middle and High School, choral director at Mount Zion; son Frederick, 18, a senior at Garfield High, drummer for the church and member of a rap group, School Boys. Older son Frank III, 20, a bass guitarist, back home after a recent stint of living in Los Angeles, is working as a security guard and trying to make it as a rock musician.

-- On music as a family unifier: Frank Jr. and Phyllis both began playing piano at age 3 1/2, started private lessons at 6, played for their respective churches at 14 and were music majors in college together. Though Frank III is into rock and Frederick into rap, music is still something that unites them. ``Music has been a part of our life all the way through,'' Frank Jr. says.

-- Biggest family issue: Growing up, independence, responsibility and maturity are the issues now with their two sons. With son Frederick, says his dad, ``there are issues of how late to stay out, and responsibility in taking the family car. If he doesn't come home when he says he will, should he use the car next time? He wants us to trust him, but he's got to put forth the efforts.''

-- How they make family decisions: ``We listen to (the children) and try to deal with their thoughts and their feelings. We talk about it together, but Mother and I have the final say.''

-- How they divide household chores: Everybody is responsible for his own room. The kids help in the kitchen and do some of their own laundry. Frank Jr. and Phyllis do more of the laundry. Phyllis cooks the meals during the week, but Frank Jr. will pitch in if she's still cooking when he gets home. Frank Jr. usually fixes the Sunday meal. (Saturday, ``everybody's running, it's warm-up stuff.'') They hire a gardener, because Frank Jr. and Frederick have allergies.

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