If One Makes Himself Available, God `Will Use You,' Says Risien

CLEVELAND - Change is never easy.

Ask Cody Risien.

Retirement from the spotlight with the Cleveland Browns has brought changes for Risien, the All-Pro offensive lineman who left football in August after 10 seasons.

``I left football and all of a sudden, I was really in a lot of emotional pain,'' said Risien, 33.

He has become a lay minister at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church in Bay Village, near Cleveland.

He works with a youth group, a healing ministry, a men's group, assists in worship services and talks to members of the church who are seeking guidance.

``When football was stripped away, I realized how much football had meant to my identity, who I thought I was because of the amount of money I was making,'' he said.

Suddenly, Risien, who reportedly earned more than $600,000 last year, was no longer a member of the Cleveland Browns.

``You can't help but think what you do is special because everyone is telling you that all the time. When people worship and idolize pro athletes, that can't help but start to become your identity.''

But through the pain, Risien has learned that God has a plan for him off the football field.

``I've learned that if one makes himself available to be used by God, He will use you,'' said Risien. ``To me, it is very humbling but it is also an incredible honor to me to think that the God of all creation would want to use me as a vessel to serve Christ and others. He is doing it. He is giving me opportunities to do that.''

Risien said the pain and confusion of leaving football and listening to God's calling has been overwhelming.

``In the midst of serving others, He is ministering to me,'' said Risien. ``I am learning more complete dependence on Him than I have ever had.''

For Risien, a graduate of Texas A&M University, a bout with spinal meningitis as a sophomore at Fairbanks High School in Cypress, Texas, brought him closer to Jesus Christ.

His life since fourth grade had been football, he said. When he was hospitalized and missed four games, ``it was a startling realization that the team went on and played without me. It was devastating to me to realize I was kind of alone.''

His father gave him the book ``The Power of Positive Thinking'' by Norman Vincent Peale, he said.

``That was the first time I felt like God was reaching out to me and I responded to it.''

Risien first announced his retirement in March. Then, in early July, he announced he would return for another year with the Browns.

But after a few weeks of training camp, Risien announced a second time that he would hang up his uniform for good.

``I returned to play because I didn't want to face reality,'' he said. ``I then realized I had enough. God was saying, `Take a leap of faith and trust in me.' ''

Since leaving the team, Risien has watched only one of the Browns' games - a victory over Denver.

``I have a real hard time watching the Browns play,'' he said. ``I realize there are too many intense emotions tied up. I played and gave my heart and soul. I experienced so many highs and lows. It tears at my heartstrings to watch the Browns.''

But he and some other church members started to watch the game together.

``It hit home that everyone was excited about the game and they were getting fired up and I realized that I no longer was the object of everyone's enthusiasm, I wasn't the object of their excitement,'' he said.

So Risien left at halftime and watched the last part of the game at home.

``I would like to run from the pain but I am finding that if I look at the pain and accept it, then that is when I find Christ.''

Risien does not know what the future holds for him and his family - his wife, Kathy, and their three daughters - now that he is out of football, but he is ready for the challenge.

``If God wants me to be an ambassador for Him, then by His grace I will submit to that,'' he said.