Back In Black -- You Can't Ignore New Falcons' Coach Glanville - Or His New Book

What can you say about a guy who drives a '50 Mercury, wears black outfits on the sidelines, leaves tickets for Elvis, dedicates his new book ``To Jerry Jeff Walker, Kris Kristofferson and John Cougar Mellencamp, the last true rebels of our time,'' and whose team won more games the last three years than any AFC team except the Denver Broncos?

Well, if you're Sam Wyche, you say: ``Jerry Glanville's teams are the dumbest, most stupid, undisciplined teams we've ever played. It's hard to believe they can ever win games.''

If you're Chuck Noll, you say: ``Glanville's teams have led the league in personal fouls everywhere he's been.''

If you're Jim Mora, you say: ``There's no doubt in my mind that (Glanville's team) takes cheap shots.''

Glanville shoots back in his just-published book, ``Elvis Don't Like Football.'' He is referred to on the book jacket as ``the NFL's most outspoken coach,'' and that's one of the few things about Glanville nobody would dispute.

``I had fun with it,'' Glanville said when asked about the book. ``To be honest with you, I've been very, very surprised with sales. When we did it, I guaranteed MacMillan we'd sell at least four to six books - all to my immediate family. Unfortunately, my wife got ahold of a copy of the galley proofs, so we were down a couple of copies from that right away. But it's been doing well all across the country.''

There are some people in the NFL who question whether Glanville is capable of writing a playbook.

They point to his 35-35 record in four-plus years as coach of the Oilers. They point to the fact that, despite having the likes of Warren Moon, Ernest Givins, Mike Rozier, Alonzo Highsmith, Drew Hill, Lorenzo White, Allen Pinkett, Mike Munchak, Bruce Matthews, Dean Steinkuhler and Ray Childress, the Oilers never have won a division title.

And they point out the Oilers lost their last three games last year - a 61-7 humiliation in Cincinnati, a 24-20 loss to Cleveland at home, then a 26-23 overtime playoff loss to Pittsburgh in the Astrodome.

It was after losing to the Steelers and Noll - Glanville describes a sociology course he took in college as ``more boring than Chuck Noll'' - that Glanville knew his Oiler days were numbered.

Last year was a tough one for Glanville in Houston, where he was bitten on the foot by a snake and stabbed in the back by management.

``I'm very proud of what I accomplished in Houston,'' Glanville said. ``My last three years, nobody but Denver in the AFC won more games than we did, and we were the only AFC team to be in the playoffs the last three years.

``But what you've got to have is support from the organization. We ran into a situation in Houston where every game we won was because we had the best talent, and every game we lost was because of the coaches.

``You can't get things accomplished with that type of philosophy, where everybody gets credit when you win and, when you don't, you shove the coach out front and let him take the arrows through his shirt.

``That was the only approach we ever had the time I was there. When I saw that going on, I asked to be let out of my contract. You've got to do what you've got to do when you're standing alone. The Lone Ranger at least had Tonto. I couldn't even find Tonto.''

The relationship between Glanville and Mike Holovak, the Oilers' 70-year-old general manager, was closer to Sitting Bull and Custer than Tonto and the Lone Ranger.

``Mike was running the draft, and it was my job to keep him awake,'' Glanville said.

Nobody ever falls asleep with Glanville around. You can love him or hate him, but you can't ignore him.

He says his decision to wear black on the sidelines ``created more hoopla than any single thing I've ever done.''

``Everybody has a favorite color,'' Glanville said. ``I'm just so happy my favorite color wasn't pink. That would have caused even more problems than black.''

In terms of hoopla, Glanville's colorful habit of leaving tickets for famous people to Oilers' games may have attracted more attention than his monochromatic fashion statement.

It all began with a preseason game at Memphis in 1988, when he left two tickets for Elvis Presley at the will-call window. Memphis, as fans of the King well know, is where Presley's mansion Graceland, is located. And the weekend the Pats and Oilers played in the Liberty Bowl was the anniversary of his death.

Except Glanville, like thousands of other Presley fans, doesn't believe the King is dead.

``I decided I would leave tickets,'' Glanville wrote in his book, ``and maybe, just maybe, the King would show up at the game.''

Presley didn't show up, but several newspapers stationed reporters at the will-call window throughout the game just in case he did.

In subsequent weeks, Glanville left tickets in Indianapolis for James Dean, who grew up in Fairmont, Ind.; for Loni Anderson in Cincinnati; the Phantom of the Opera in New York; Buddy Holly in Dallas; W.C. Fields in Philadelphia; and for Paul McGuire's liver in Buffalo.

Humor, Glanville says, is his way of diffusing the pressure that builds on NFL coaches.

``Some coaches get upset with me,'' Glanville wrote. ``When the IBM clones and male models around the league see us having a good time, they don't like it.''

Glanville's sense of humor has nothing to do with why Noll and Wyche don't like him. After his Steelers lost to Houston, 23-3, in a game in Pittsburgh in 1987, Noll accused the Oilers of spearing and taking assorted other cheap shots.

The rematch in December at the Astrodome was marred by a second-half brawl. When the game was over and the Oilers had won again, 24-16, a red-faced Noll squeezed Glanville's hand at midfield and held on. Noll stuck his finger in Glanville's chest and warned him his team's style of play was going to get him in trouble.

Wyche didn't mince words after the Bengals routed the Oilers in the next-to-last game of last season.

``They are a sorry football team,'' Wyche said of the Oilers. ``They play stupid football.''

``You don't take chances, you don't get anywhere in life,'' he wrote. ``There are a lot of talented people in the NFL who are afraid to get creative because, if it doesn't work, people say nasty things about your mother. But when you live on the edge, you have to able to take the heat. And it doesn't hurt to have a mother with thick skin.

``If you're playing aggressive football, you're going to hit late occasionally. You can't be an aggressive football team without some aggressive penalties.''

Aggressiveness was a trademark of the Falcons' defensive units Glanville developed as an assistant.

``We sent everybody after the quarterback,'' recalled Glanville, whose defense in those days was labeled the ``Gritz Blitz.''

``You nail any quarterback enough times,'' Glanville said, ``and, sooner or later, throwing touchdowns will be the last thing on his mind. All quarterbacks will eventually say, `The heck with this, I'm too young to die.'''

Glanville has a new lease on his coaching life with the Falcons, who appear to be a team on the rise. Glanville's Falcons defeated his old team, the Oilers, 47-27 in last Sunday's opener.

``It always fascinates some people in this league that anybody would hire me,'' Glanville said. ``The fact I'm working shocks a lot of people in this league.''